Talk:Mario/GA1

Comments

I'll just kick it off by saying the reception section seems weak. There's gotta be much more to be said about the most iconic video game character ever created. - The New Age Retro Hippie used Ruler! Now, he can figure out the length of things easily. 03:47, 1 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I'm fully reviewing this article. Unfortunately, I'm not going to pass it- and I think the problems are too widespread to be solved in a week, so I'm not going to put it on hold either. Problems are as follows.

As New Age Retro Hippie mentions above, there's approximately as much text in reception as you have for "Abilities". That's... not very much for the most widely known video game character of all time.

"Concept and Creation" and the first section of "Appearances" are pretty good. The bigger problems start after them- the "Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins" section has no references, and that section starts the trend of tiny little paragraphs. The content in the paragraphs isn't quite right, either- this article is about Mario, not the game's he's been in- you're not trying to restate what's in Mario (series). The sections should talk about what those games did to expand his character or introduce new things about him/his past, rather than a quick four-sentence plot summary.

"Other Mario games" is almost entirely lacking references, and there's a lot of unsourced stuff in "In other media". The latter section also brings back the problem of short paragraphs, as well as really choppy sentences that don't say much- like "He also appears in the Game & Watch games." and "The Nintendo Comics System series were also created." What are the Game and Watch games? What role did he have in them? Who created the Nintendo Comics System series, when did they do it, and what is it?

"Characteristics" needs references throughout, as does "Abilities".

The two biggest problems with this article are #1 that a large part of it is a series of uninformative short sentences that don't flow and tell the reader very little ("He was in game X. Then he was in game Y. He was a doctor in game Z. He was in game Q in 2007.") and a lack of citations for a lot of it. While I didn't look cite by cite, the references that are in the article look good, so that's a plus, and the images are fine. To get this to GA, though, you're going to need to rewrite about half of the article so that it both focuses on the character, not the games, and is informative to the reader, and find a bunch of cites. Whenever you renominate this, ping me, and I can give it a look so you don't have to wait so long for a review next time. Good luck! --Pres N 18:53, 21 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I rewrote the "appearances" section months ago to more fit what you are saying. What Mario does in the games, instead of the reception of the games. I basically took some text and references from the plot sections of most of the main series games. I do agree, this isn't really GA worthy. Quite a bit of the appearances and abilities section needs referencing. _Blake ^{(Talk·Edits)} 19:15, 21 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]