Talk:Maria Komnene, Queen of Jerusalem/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Surtsicna (talk · contribs) 21:42, 19 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Cplakidas (talk · contribs) 20:39, 27 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Will take this on in the following days. Constantine ✍ 20:39, 27 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check.
a (reference section): b (inline citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Well written, with a clear and succinct prose style. References are to scholarly sources of a high standard. Some comments:

The Egyptian ruler Saladin this is a common trope, but not really accurate; Saladin ruled over both Egypt and Syria.
The name of her mother is unknown (Varzos, Vol. B, pp. 143–144); per Byzantine custom it would be very unlikely if it was Maria, as children were usually named after their grandfathers and almost never had the same name as one of their parents.
Enclose the Greek title protosebastos in {{transl|grc|}} per MOS
Suggest adding regnal dates to the various rulers and potentates (such as popes) to help the reader.
Wishing to restore the alliance with the powerful Byzantine Empire a little context on why this alliance was disturbed?
Muslim sultan is that not somewhat redundant? Sultan by definition means Muslim.
Link the Siege of Jerusalem (1187) in the main article as well (e.g. at besieging the capital).
After besieging the capital, Saladin arranged for Maria, her children, household, and possessions to be escorted to Tyre.[64] Jerusalem fell on 2 October. Does this mean Maria left the city before it capitulated?
Suggest adding also a map of the pre-1187 kingdom, which shows places like Kerak or Nablus.
Hamilton 2016 is cited but not listed in the reference section.
Please provide ISBN for Riley-Smith 1973.
There is very heavy reliance on Hamilton 2000 in the article. Per se this may not be a problem, especially for the narrative parts of the article, but I have to ask whether other sources were considered.
In the section on judgments on her character, I would recommend adding other scholars' views as well, if they exist.
Spotcheck in Hamilton 2000 p. 106 for #28 does not exactly cover the statement in the article that [Saladin] had encircled the crusader states during Raymond's regency. It can be inferred, but in the source it is not presented as fait accompli. Other spotchecks check out fine.

That's it for now, will do a second pass after the above is taken care of. A very good article, which presents the Byzantine politics of Jerusalem and Maria's role in them clearly and understandably. Constantine ✍ 15:02, 10 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]