Talk:Marais des Cygnes massacre/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 23:34, 1 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I will do a little copy editing. Please flag up anything you are unhappy with.

"as part of a period of political instability" Maybe "as part of" → 'during'?
- Done
"Free-Staters" needs disambiguating.
- Oops. Fixed
Perhaps introduce Brown? 'The abolitionist ...'?
- Done
"resulted in a pro-slavery majority in Kansas leadership" This isn't grammatical. And who or what constituted the "leadership"?
- Is "resulted in a pro-slavery majority in the Kansas territorial government," any better?
"Free Staters": why the uppercase initial letters?
- Both Free Staters and free staters are used, as well as Border Ruffians and border ruffians. Gonna stick with lowercase for all for consistency
"the Sack of Lawrence was committed by" Consider "committed" → 'carried out'.
- Done
"several buildings were burned". Burned, or burned down?
- Burned down, clarified
"a Veterans of Foreign Wars post donated the site" I assume that this means something to Americans. But it looks like a typo to me.
- Yeah, the VFW is a big veterans organization in parts of America. My state considers the game of bingo to be gambling and tightly regulates it, but the VFW is given a special exemption to do bingo above the legal limits. Such is life in the Bible Belt. I attend a Baptist College that forbids on-campus dancing

I assume that a "post" in this context means something like 'branch'.

I really can't think of anything polite to say in response, but you have my sympathies. How long is your sentence?

A "post" is what the VFW calls each branch. I can change the wording if you'd like, Gog the Mild, but "post" is the most accurate word to use in this context. Hog Farm _Bacon 21:35, 3 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Suggest a paragraph break before "From 1961–1962".
- Sure, done. Gog the Mild - All addressed so far. Hog Farm _Bacon 21:13, 3 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed