Talk:Manor Hall, Bristol/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Winner 42 (talk · contribs) 04:59, 12 July 2015 (UTC)

Overall Comments

Placing under review. Winner 42 Talk to me! 04:59, 12 July 2015 (UTC)

Sorry for taking so long, placing on hold. Winner 42 Talk to me! 03:25, 22 July 2015 (UTC)

Over a week with no improvements, failing GA review. Winner 42 Talk to me! 21:02, 3 August 2015 (UTC)

• No dead links is nice
• The article seems to almost entirely rely on primary sourcing, while not a GA issue this gives me pause about neutrality of this article
• Inconsistent usage of oxford commas
• File:Manor crest.png Does not have proper copyright attribution

Sectional Analysis

• Lead
  • The lead is quite short for an article of this size, it should summarize the points in the article per WP:MOSLEAD.
  • self-catering accommodation is a phrase nearly exclusive to British English, and while this article should be written in British English, it is confusing to non British people.
• The Main Hall
  • The main hall was erected between 1927 and 1932 Not in source given.
  • to the generosity of Seems overly positive.
  • Mrs Jessie -> Mrs. Jessie
  • The first warden, Mrs Jessie D. Skemp, the former Warden of Belgrave House, was the widow of the Professor of English who was killed during the Great War This is confusing, please reword.
• Annexes
  • very rich history seems overly promotional
  • again through the generosity Overly positive
  • Manor House was extensively refurbished by the University in the summers of 1997 and 1998, and officially reopened in April 1999. Citation needed.
  • Richmond House is one of the oldest houses in Clifton having been built between 1701-1703 on the site of the medieval manor house burned during the Civil War, which had once been the home of Richard Amerike. Citation also needed.
  • A noted horsewoman Who?
  • A popular piece of trivia amongst residents is the fact that the house once contained the oldest working flushing toilet in Bristol. Due to an incident in December 2008, the ancient toilet was damaged and a modern toilet was installed in early 2009. Likely OR, needs source.
  • It was refurbished during the summer of 2013 in conjunction with the main building. Citation needed.
• Student Life
  • Could be better organized into a single paragraph.
  • Annual traditions at Manor Hall includes the running of two musical/dramatic productions a year, three formal dinners, and a garden party to celebrate the end of the academic year in addition to other events that are ran throughout the year. Needs source, possible OR
  • Recent productions include Mostellaria, And Then There Were None, Road, The Crucible and The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole. Source needed.
• Manor Hall Association
  • This section seems overly positive and full of trivia. Such as the sentence about the pocket watch gift.
  • In 2007 a -> In 2007, a
  • In 2012 -> In 2012,
  • Interestingly, this section doesn't have a single wikilink, not a GA issue, but surprising for text of this size
• Crest, Motto, and Tie
  • "gules, a sun in splendour"; or a golden sun. -> a "gules, a sun in splendour" or a golden sun.
  • Is this section unnecessary puffery?

Review

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. Has an appropriate reference section:

   B. Cites reliable sources, where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused (see summary style):

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Sectional Response

Sorry for my delay in responding to this - I've been away from my computer. I have been through all of your suggestions and in the most part incorporated them into the article as best I can. To response:

• Lead
  • The lead is quite short for an article of this size, it should summarize the points in the article per WP:MOSLEAD.
    • For now I have left this as it was as I couldn't see a way of adding to it without just extending it for the sake of extending it - if there are any specific points from the main body you think should be added to the lead then I'm happy to add these in.
  • self-catering accommodation is a phrase nearly exclusive to British English, and while this article should be written in British English, it is confusing to non British people.
    • This is the correct British English, as a British English speaker I'm not sure of alternative phrases for 'self-catering' and this is how accommodation is referred to on the main website of the University so it is at least consistent. Again if you have a suggested rewording am happy to take this into account if it better suits the article.
• The Main Hall
  • All changes incorporated except the full stop after 'Mrs' - as this is correct British English, I'm not sure if this falls foul of any wiki standards, so please let me know if so.
• Annexes
  • All changes incorporated and have removed anecdotal facts without citations.
• Student Life
  • I think think this is better served as more than one paragraph; however, I have restricted it so it reads a bit better. Citations have been added or a citation needed tag where I haven't been able to find an only source to cite.
• Manor Hall Association
  • This section seems overly positive and full of trivia. Such as the sentence about the pocket watch gift.
    • I have removed the trivia about the pocket watch as you're correct it seems out of place. Nothing else stands out to me as being overtly just for the sake trivia in this section, so please flag anything you think needs looking at specifically.
• Crest, Motto, and Tie
  • Is this section unnecessary puffery?
    • I think this is a fair concern; however, given the detail given on the buildings and other aspects of the hall it seems logical to me to keep this section in especially given we show the crest and motto. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Cd5464 (talk • contribs) 08:04, 6 August 2015 (UTC)