Talk:Mami (song)/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 06:20, 26 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Grabbing this for a review. Aoba47 (talk) 06:20, 26 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and infobox

The following part (written by Stan and Katie DiCicco and produced by Simon Says) is awkwardly tagged at the end of a sentence. It does not really flow with the sentence, and I would suggest revising it to have it read better.
I would change the following sentence (It was inspired by Mexican culture, portraying machismo idealism of a Latina girl next door daydreaming of her love interest.) to (Inspired by Mexican culture, it portrays the machismo idealism of a Latina girl next door daydreaming of her love interest.) to have ti read better.
For this part (It was independently released as a single on 4 April 2018), could you specify what number single this is from the album?

Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:15, 26 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Background and lyrics

For the first half of this paragraph, it is not quite clear which references are supporting what information. The entire first half of the paragraph seems to be supported by the first three references, but I would make it clear which information is cited by what. For instance, what reference is used for the credits (i.e. the writing, production, and mixing)?
I would revise this part (The song was written mostly in English, with few lyrics in French) to (The song was written mostly in English, though a few lyrics are in French) to avoid the “with” sentence construction. I have received notes in the past that it is best to avoid that sentence construction on Wikipedia.
You say that the song was released as a single in the lead, but you do not say so in the body of the article (at least to the best of my knowledge, but I may have overlooked it).

Done I sorted the references better and added the info regarding the song's release. Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:15, 26 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Music video

I would revise the following sentence (An editor of Antena 1 described the video's plot as portraying Stan as a "lovely and sensual" Latina cooking in the kitchen.) to (An editor of Antena 1 wrote that Stan portrays a "lovely and sensual" Latina cooking in the kitchen.) to be more concise.
For this sentence (The publication alluded the video's "color, sensual movements and [it's] Latin atmosphere.”), I would use a different verb than “alluded” as it does not make much sense in this context. Alluded to the video’s atmosphere for what? Something about the use of the quote in this sentence seems off to me.
I have a question for this sentence (Jonathan Currinn of CelebMix pointed out elements of comedy in the video.). Did he cite any examples?
For this part (According to Stan, she described the music video as being inspired by Mexican culture, having coming up with the idea with her crew.), remove the “According to Stan” part as it is unnecessary, and just start the sentence with “Stan described…”.
For this part (She further explained how she wanted to showcase her love for cooking), I would use “that” instead of “how”.
I have a question about this sentence (Malfroy of Aficia wrote how Stan played a femme fatale.), specifically due to the word choice “how”. The sentence makes me think that Malfoy included examples from the video to support “how” Stan was playing this character type. If that is not true, then I would replace “how” with “that”.
I am not certain about this sentence (Prior to the release of the visual, Stan sparked controversy for gaining weight and allegedly having breast implants.). I was a little confused when I first read the sentence, and after reading the article, I understand know that it was more so fan criticism. I would specify this in the sentence as it is a little too vague in its current construction. Do you also think that you should include a part on Stan’s response?

Done CelebMix cited an example, and I've included a quote in the article, while the other one did not say which moment he thought Stan was a "femme fatale". I also changed the sentence with the weight gain backlash, although I don't think Stan's response is so relevant, at least not for this article. Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:15, 26 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Credits and personnel

I would include a section for this with the appropriate information and citation.

Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:15, 26 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

External links

Include a link to the Metrolyrics page (here) for the song as it is an official lyric provider.

Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:15, 26 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Final comments

Wonderful work with the article. Once all of my comments have been addressed, I will pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 17:15, 26 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: Hi there and thank you for taking your time to review one of my GANs. I believe I have solved all your concerns and responded to your comments above. Best; Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:15, 26 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Verdict

Passing this now. Aoba47 (talk) 18:48, 26 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.