Talk:Magic: The Gathering rules/GA1

GA Review

Actually closing as failed. * Pppery * _{it has begun...} 22:04, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 11:59, 18 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Links

Prose

Lede

The Rules of Magic: The Gathering - see WP:BOLDAVOID. I'd avoid having bold for this article. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:18, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The Rules of Magic: The Gathering were originally developed by the game's creator, Richard Garfield, and accompanied the first version of the game in 1993. The rules of Magic have been changed frequently over the years by the manufacturer, Wizards of the Coast, mostly in minor ways. However, major rules overhauls have also been done a few times. - this whole paragraph just sounds like noise. If someone isn't sure what Magic: The Gathering is, they'd have no idea what you were talking about. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:18, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
I'm not sure saying "mostly in minor ways", then major sometimes is helpful, or accurate. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:18, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
In its most-played form, Magic is a game where two players bring their own set of cards, called a deck, and play each other. Players start by drawing a hand of seven cards and then take turns. In a turn a player can play one mana-producing Land, play various types of spells which require varying amounts and colors of mana, and attack their opponent to try and reduce their life total from the starting 20 to zero, thus winning the game. - this is not a very good explaination of the rules, and the lede doesn't go into any details about how the rules have changed, or why we have an article on this. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:18, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

General

two or more players - lede says two... now you can have more? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:22, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
engaged in a battle - they really aren't. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:22, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Each player has their own deck of cards, either one previously constructed or made from a limited pool of cards for the event.[ - considering we are explaining the rules of the game, we haven't explained that these aren't regular playing cards. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:22, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Additionally, one of the "Magic Golden Rules" is that "Whenever a card’s text directly contradicts these rules, the card takes precedence". - who are these quotes from? What does this even mean? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:22, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
CNET highlighted - no a person did this, not an organisation. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:22, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Magic tends to embrace all that house ruling, making it official when it catches on. Commander started as a fan-created format, after all" - who said this, and what does it even mean? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:22, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
There are various formats in which the Magic can be played. - the Magic? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:22, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Review meta comments

I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}
- I'm sorry, I got about two paragraphs into the main article before I gave up. The article needs a pretty major copyedit to be written readable for someone not already completely familiar with the game. Failing. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:23, 23 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.