Talk:Madhumati/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Numerounovedant (talk · contribs) 15:17, 29 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Grabbing this. VedantTalk 15:17, 29 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lede

"The plot revolves around" would better work as "The ploy focusses on".
"with Pran and Johnny Walker in supporting roles"?
This is an unconventional approach to the lead. Having the release and box office performance in the second paragraph without any mention of the production process barring the music? Why have half the release bit in one paragraph and the other (the critical reception) in another; same for the production process?

Production

"Ghatak shared the story with Roy, who immediately liked it" - He should do in the beginning.
"The dialogues were written by Urdu writer Rajinder Singh Bedi, who wrote dialogues in Urdu script" - This could be phrased better.
Also, in case of multiple references, make sure they appear chronologically.
"Manohari Singh was selected to composing the film's music after Roy heard him playing in Kolkata." - selected to composing?
"despite not being commercially successful" - Why use despite and not in the same sentence when it can be easily rephrased?
"Dilip Kumar and Vyajanthimala were selected to play the lead roles in Madhumati." - "~~Dilip~~Kumar" should do.

More to follow. VedantTalk 15:41, 29 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Continued:

""If you ask me one motivation to accept Madhumati it was my eagerness to work again with Bimal Roy after the rich experience we shared during the making of Devdas"." The quote could be paraphrased, atleast partially.
"Since a reshoot in far-away Uttarakhand was not possible, sets were created near Vaitarna Dam, Igatpuri, near Nashik." - Might want to remove one instance of the word "near".
You could wiki-link "capitalist", "social realism" and "egalitarian".
Why italicise The University of Iowa?
Also, you might want to come up with a better pronoun that They for the university. You could probably begin the paragraph with "Analysts from The University of Iowa". In that case, the They would work.
" the now-common narrative of a plain-based hero entering the mountains and being seduced by a tribal woman" - That's really saying something without any direct quotes.

Music

"performed the vocals" - provided?
Is there any way to explain what "Indian tea garden folk music" is? Because I have no clue and other readers might get confused too.
Mention the release year for Jagte Raho.
"The song Suhana safar aur yeh mausam haseen is played at dandiya functions." - That's a very unusual way of saying that the sing us still popular; could you look for something else to substantiate the track's popularity?

Unfortunately, that's the only thing the track seems notable for. King Prithviraj II (talk) 17:17, 29 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"The following is the track listing." - Isn't really needed.

Reception

The large quote by Upperstall could be paraphrased.
Daily News and Analysis should be in italics.

Legacy

The opening quite could be out in a quotebox as such.
DNA India should be Daily News and Analysis.
The last paragraph talks more about The Reincarnation of Peter Proud that Madhumati. That part is not very relevant.

That's it for now. Articles about old films always intrigue me; you've done great work on this too. VedantTalk 16:30, 29 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

All comments resolved, Numerounovedant. Please inform if any are remaining. King Prithviraj II (talk) 17:17, 29 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Sources

There are some formatting issues: Box Office India, CNN-News18, NDTV are italicised on some occasions while (make sure you use proper fields work/publisher everywhere); I also see commas in the Mumbai Mirror source; if you do not want to be italicising Upperstall.com as you did that in the refs then make sure it do it everywhere; i am concerned about the reliability of sources like Cinestaan and Television Post; also since you wiki-link TOI on most occasions in the refs, I'd suggest you do it with every source (Wiki-link all websites/publishers at all occasions as it is standard practice, or so I've been told).

That should hopefully do it. VedantTalk 19:47, 29 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The "Cinestaan" source uses information from Rinki Bhattacharya's book on the film, which has no url on Google Books. The Television Post source is replaced by me with one from Hindustan Times. I have hopefully fixed the work/publisher and links for the newspapers, websites and magazines, Numerounovedant. Do let me know if I or King Prithviraj II have missed anything. Thanks. — Ssven2 ^{Looking at you, kid} 12:13, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Dude, you are one of the most helpful Wikipedians out there.

King Prithviraj II (talk) 12:25, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Final set:

"Madhumati, The Reincarnation of Peter Proud and Karz may have inspired the American film Chances Are (1989)." - That's too speculative for WP IMO.
Also, the line before really is largely irrelevant. A movie that might have been inspired by another movie leading to other different movies doesn't really cut it. Same should hold true for Karz, but you can let the latter be, for now.
I'd also like to believe that the film was an inspiration for world cinema, but it a little difficult to believe that. But, for now you can keep it and then we can always come up with a consensus at a later point.

~~On Hold~~; I shall be happy to pass the article once you address the last set of comments. VedantTalk 12:45, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I've made some tweaks, Numerounovedant. Do let me or King Prithviraj II know if there's anything pending. Thanks. — Ssven2 ^{Looking at you, kid} 13:09, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Well, everything seems to have been addressed (with my last edit on the Influence section). I'll pass the article; it was a very interesting read. VedantTalk 13:14, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]