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Talk:MTV Unplugged (Mariah Carey EP)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 01:32, 30 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments

[edit]
infobox and introduction
Infobox
Introduction
  • extended play → extended play (EP)
  • After the success of Carey's previous records, as well as the growing critical commentary on her lack of tours and unsubstantial televised performances, Sony booked a performance to be recorded at Kaufman Astoria Studios, New York on March 16, 1992 → Following the success of Carey's previous two albums and the growing critical commentry on her lack of concert tours and unsubstancial televised performances, Sony BMG organised a performance show at the Kaufman Astoria Studios, New York on March 16, 1992.
  • The show would be titled MTV Unplugged, and would originally be intended to air on MTV and help promote Carey's still current material, as well as help shun critics who deemed Carey a possible "studio artist." → The show, titled MTV Unplugged, originally aired on MTV to help promote Carey's then album Emotions, as well as help shun critics who deemed Carey a possible "studio artist." (add reference) as this is a quote.
  • Upon release, the EP garnered generally positive review from contemporary music critics, many of whom complimented Carey's live vocals. → 's' missing from review and remove the word contemporary. Also remove live vocals... we've already established this is a live recording.
  • The album peaked → Commercially, the album was a success, peaking....
  • the EP experienced strong success in several other worldwide markets → the EP experienced strong success in several international markets
  • According to Live Nation, as of 2008 the EP has sold over six million copies worldwide. → missing comma after EP
    • Check this one again, it doesn't make sense to me.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 06:56, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
      • commas are used for subordinates clauses. The sentence "According to Live Nation, the EP has sold over six million copies worldwide." makes sense on its own. However, the addition of the "as of 2008" clause breaks up this sentence causing the reader to pause before and after its appearance in the sentence. The comma is required to signify this. Alternatively it could be written as "According to Live Nation, and as of 2008". — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 16:54, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
        • I apologize Uniquey, but I disagree. Please have someone you respect in terms of grammatical fixes to come and have a look, but adding an extra comma does not make sense. Sorry :) Actually, I switched the sales source and wording so check now!--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 07:27, 1 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Re-write last paragraph, lose "After Sony's decision to release the EP". Add link for "I'll Be There". etc.

rest of review will come after this is done — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 00:51, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Open comments

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Rolling comments
Recording
  • a crew of ten just for the filming and recording → just a crew of ten, for filming and recording.
  • The show was directed by Larry Jordan, having previously worked with Carey on the music video set for "Someday". → doesn't make sense. You need to clarify something along the lines of "Directed by Larry Jordin, who previously worked with Carey on the music video for "Someday". Also punctuation should come before the end of the speech marks. i.e. "Someday."
  • having worked with Carey in the past as well, on both her previous studio albums → redundency here. change to "having worked with Carey on her previous two studio albums.
  • Carey opened the night's concert with "Emotions", entering the studio dressed in a black jacket and matching pants and boots... → doesn't read brilliantly. On the one hand you're saying its a concert then you're calling it a studio recording. How about... "The show began with the song "Emotions." Carey entered the studio dressed in..."
  • a capella → a capella
  • harpsichord and harmonium → wikilinks?
  • The next song on the short set-list was "If It's Over", Carey's collaboration with Carole King → The next song on the set-list was "If It's Over," a collaboration with Carole King.
  • Link to "I'll Be There"
  • Section needs to be renamed... essentially this is a synopsis of the show not information about the recording. Recording information is about the equipment and techniques used... not setlists etc. I would rename to either 'Synopsis' or 'Composition'.
Release
  • Originally, the intimate concert was set to air on MTV a few times during the following month, in an attempt to boost sales of Carey's latest studio effort at the time, Emotions. → Originally, MTV planned to air the show several times during April 1992, it was normal for MTV Unplugged sessions to air around six times during the month of release, before being archived.
  • However, while most would only air around six times during the month of its release, and then find its way to the vault, Carey's episode was met with acclaim and extended popularity → BIG NONO ... this is WP:SYNTHESIS as you've made two seperate points but tried to establish a link between the two. Change to (taking into account the changes above), "Carey's version was met with critical acclaim and extended popularity, leading to it being shown more often than usual." (if this is the point you're trying to make? I'm not entirely sure tbh).
  • Fans from around the country kept requesting it to be aired on television, and after the course of April, had been aired over three times as many as the average episode. → Fans from around the United States made multiple requests for the show to be aired on television, and by the end of April 1992, Carey's episode of MTV Unplugged had aired over three-times as much as an average episode would.
  • Additionally, due to its critical success, Carey's live cover of "I'll Be There" was released as the EP's lead single on April 26, 1992, a little over a month before the release of the album → not required as there is already a singles section.
Critical reception
  • contemporary music critics → remove contemporary. Are you aware that contemporary means the last 100 years?
  • This section is currently a WP:QUOTEFARM. Every mention of a new review is the same, ABC person of XYZ publication etc. this needs to change and be broken up a little.
Commericial performance
  • The following week, the album reached number five on the album's chart, eventually peaking at number three the following week. → The relevance of the second week trajection is? Stick to, "In its third week, the album peaked at number three."
  • The debut is not supported by the reference given.
  • WP:SYNTHESIS → you cannot claim that the EP did well in NET purely on this reference.
Singles
  • peaking atop → not good English, try "topping" or "peaking at number one" instead.
  • ARIA and RIANZ → spell out.
  • limited release or not, this album spawned two singles.
Video
  • Merge to release section as this content makes no sense alone.
Track listing
  • Just the surname suffices → M. Carey > Carey. You should only use the initial if there are people with the same surname.
Charts and certificates
References/works cited
  • Reference 37 is in English not German. Please check this across all references.
Miscellanious comments
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