Talk:M16 Multiple Gun Motor Carriage/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: ErrantX (talk · contribs) 16:02, 29 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I am happy to review this.

Lead

The lead is a good summary of the article, but might be improved with some notes about when it came out of service and the total number(s) built. Done
In the Korean War, it was used mainly in the ground support role, which it succeeded in.; fragments, consider revising (personally I would say something like: Over the M16's lifetime aircraft became more advanced, limiting it's usefulness as an anti-air weapon. During the Korean war it was used successfully in a ground support role until it was taken out of service by the US Army in 1951). Done

Specification

armor; consider linking to vehicle armor Done

Development

Overall I feel this section could be expanded with a lot more detail, the reader is left needing to read 2-3 more articles to fill in gaps. Done
It was based on an earlier model of the M13 (the T1E2), but the M33 Maxson mount was replaced with the M45 Quadmount.; what were the T1E2 features (I notice the M13 article has some detail that is relevant here). Done}
produced by the White Motor Company during the period from May 1943 to March 1944; I might have lead the section with this information. Done

Service

As soon as it entered service; repetition from previous sentence, consider revising Done
It was nicknamed "The Meat Chopper"; slightly confusing because you might be referring to the M16 or the M13 (subject of the previous sentence) - the latter is inferred by your later reference to and the M16 . Consider revising. Done
The M16 was similar to the M5-based M17 MGMC and related models of the German SdKfz 251 half-track.; similar in what way? This sentence seemed out of place to the context of the paragraph. Done
During the Korean War, it was used in both the anti-aircraft and the ground support roles, although it was mainly used for the latter, since aircraft had become harder to shoot down with anti-aircraft (AA) guns by that time.; long, fragmented sentence. Consider revising. Done
even though; although? Done

Variants

supplied under Lend Lease to the USSR. A total of 1,000 were produced by International Harvester from December 1943 to March 1944.[12] Up to half of the Soviet Union's air defense forces consisted of M17s.[13]; seems out of place in this section compared to other entries (which are quick descriptions). Maybe move it elsewhere in the article?
- I would have just linked it to the relevant article, but that is all what the article would have stated, so I merged it a few weeks ago.--Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk) 21:00, 29 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  - Aye. My suggestion would be to merge that additional sentence into "Development", but it's not critical for GA status --Errant ^(chat!) 09:16, 2 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

General Comments

A decent little article (I appreciate the difficulty of writing about things with limited resource/material). Apart from some relatively minor prose issue, I think the only really GA-limiting problem is the detail missing from the specification section.

Please feel free to reply inline. I will add additional comments above as I re-read. --Errant ^(chat!) 16:02, 29 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for doing those bits, the article is clearly okay on neutrality and related issues, I've done an image review and all is okay. Just doing a source review now. --Errant ^(chat!) 09:16, 2 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]