Talk:Lyo and Merly/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: GreatOrangePumpkin (talk · contribs) 19:56, 31 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
"It took designers from Cubix International about six months to complete designing the mascots.[2]" - "People from [introduce what it is] Cubix International worked on the mascot's designs roughly six months long"

" although the mascot was not technically official." - Not clear what you mean that it was not technically official.

"first official Olympics mascot was Waldi in the 1972 Summer Olympics in Munich, Germany.[3]" - was Wald, introduced in ...

"The mascots are typically an animal native to the area where the Games take place" - are typically animals native ...

The lead is not summarizing important information, eg the outreach. At the moment it only tells about the creation and introduction of the mascots--Kürbis (✔) 11:04, 9 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Thanks for the review, GreatOrangePumpkin! You could not have chosen a better date to complete the review, as 9 August is National Day in Singapore. I made the requested grammatical corrections and removed the sentence about the unofficial mascot. The Development section states that Cubix International is "a company specialising in branding, animation and character development". As for the lead section, I am thinking about how to rewrite it. (This article was written by AngChenrui, not me, but I am polishing this as part of a Singaporean GA drive.) --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 12:57, 9 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I would add to the lead this sentence: "The two mascots appeared in various activities and programmes, including events in schools, launches and roadshows. " at the end, before it a very short description of the differences (eg male/female; what do their names mean). That's all, I think. Regards.--Kürbis (✔) 16:33, 9 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Does the newly-rewritten lead adequately summarise the article? --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 13:30, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Yep. Good work as I am passing this article. Regards.--Kürbis (✔) 20:15, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]