Talk:Luka Modrić/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Cloudz679 (talk · contribs) 23:00, 6 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I will take on this review. C 679 23:00, 6 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:
frequent lack of good grammar, unclear prose etc.

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
words to watch are present throughout the article.
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. Has an appropriate reference section:

B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
checklinks shows fn3,17,22,14,36, 99 and 80 as dead or likely dead. fn20, 71, 82 and 83 are also unreachable at the time of writing. Statistics section is unreferenced aside from "international goals".

C. No original research:
Despite having 100+ references, many parts are unreferenced, appearing to be original research.
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Various parts are written from a fan's POV.
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Article has been under pending changes restrictions since 2 January 2014.
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
File:Tottenham warmup, Wigan Athletic v Tottenham Hotspur, 21st February 2010.jpg does not have a suitable caption. File:Luka Modric (L), João Moutinho (R) - Croatia vs. Portugal, 10th June 2013.jpg has a stray comma in the caption. File:Luka Modric - Croatia vs. Portugal, 10th June 2013 (4).jpg does not have a suitable caption.
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
It is clear that the prose is a long way from meeting GA criteria. I recommend addressing the issues raised in this review, then requesting a copy edit from the Guild of Copy Editors before thinking about another nomination. C 679 08:30, 7 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Prose issues (non-exhaustive list):

Grammar

Modrić is a Croatian international (grammar) Done
He has since participated in three major tournaments; 2006 FIFA World Cup, and UEFA Euro 2008 and 2012. Done
and at the Euro 2008 was included in the UEFA "Team of the Tournament", becoming only the second Croatian to ever achieve this honour.
His grandfather Luka and other six civilians Done
At the time of the aggression, Modrić, as refugee, lived in a hotel in Zadar, with his family. Done
It was in these difficult circumstances that Modrić began playing football. (also POV) Done
Supported by his family, he managed to participate in few representative camps, and train in NK Zadar,[9] and after displaying some talent, Luka signed with Dinamo Zagreb as a 16-year old in 2002.[3] (split into two sentences. What are "representative camps"? Done
His competitive Premier League's debut (grammar) Done
He scored his first Premier League goal against Newcastle United in Spurs' away defeat on 21 December 2008, home win in the third round of FA Cup against Wigan on 2 January 2009, and in away defeat against Manchester United on 25 April 2009. (doesn't make sense, needs extra references) Done
Modrić scored his first Tottenham competitive goal in a 2–2 draw against Spartak Moscow during the UEFA Cup group stages on 18 December 2008. (also chronological order) Done

Context

He scored his first international goal in the friendly match against Italy, (context) Done
He simultaneously entered the primary school (context) Done
In 2005, Modrić signed his first long-term contract with Dinamo, for ten years. After a goalless first season, he managed to secure a place in Dinamo's first team, contributing 7 goals in 31 matches to help win the league. (which seasons are being referred to here?) Done
he was loaned out in 2003 to Zrinjski Mostar (link loaned) Done
on away goals (link)

Using full names

Luka Modrić was born in SR Croatia, then a republic within SFR Yugoslavia. Done

Use plain English

Modrić lost his grandfather Done

POV

Frequent POV throughout the article. Examples below:
He finished his impressive six-year tenure at Dinamo (POV) Done
With the appointment of manager Harry Redknapp, Modrić was given a more familiar advanced attacking role as a central or left-sided midfielder, which had been a problem position for Tottenham in the past. In the first few months of the 2008–09 season until the 2009 January transfer window, Modrić assumed a far more advanced role as a second striker behind one of Tottenham's two recognised first-team strikers, Roman Pavlyuchenko or Darren Bent. This allowed Modrić to have a far more attacking influence on the team and also utilise his footballing brain more productively, as in the thrilling 4–4 draw with arch-rivals Arsenal on 26 October 2008.[26] (fn26 only supports the scoreline, the rest is more POV) Done
During the January 2009 transfer window, Tottenham re-signed strikers Jermain Defoe and Robbie Keane, allowing Modrić to return to midfield while retaining his advanced attacking role as a roaming left-sided midfielder. Spurs' other major signing, tough-tackling Honduran midfielder Wilson Palacios, bolstered Spurs' central midfield and gave Modrić more freedom in attack, while Palacios operated as a more defensive midfielder. Using him in his former position from Dinamo Zagreb days made him even more effective with inspirational performances against Stoke City (reads like a fansite, more POV and lacking references as well as objectivity) Done
Modrić's impact in this position was well demonstrated with Tottenham's fourth and equalising goal when he collected the ball on his chest from Tom Huddlestone, and after a few controlled touches, unleashed a long-range half-volley which, courtesy of a deflection, hit the post and set up Aaron Lennon for a tap-in. Since this performance, his form improved considerably for Spurs, coinciding with his club's vastly improved form in the league. (more unattributed POV) Done
Modrić finally returned to training after numerous delays on 8 December in a match against Grays Athletic. He made his first start in the Premier League for four months in the London derby against West Ham United, which Spurs won 2–0, with Modrić making a telling contribution by scoring with the leg he broke in the 11th minute. He again scored in home win against Everton on 28 February, and away defeat against Burnley in the last season's game on 9 May 2010. (more POV, fan-style writing and unreferenced) Done

Referencing

and was also the Premier League's first summer transfer. (not referenced) Done
ex-Spurs captain Jamie Redknapp (not referenced, not even on Redknapp's page) Done
On 11 September 2010, Modrić scored his first goal of the 2010–11 season with a 27th minute strike which put Tottenham 1–0 up away at West Bromwich Albion. The match finished in a 1–1 draw after Chris Brunt equalised. During the match, Modrić sustained an injury which was feared to be a repeat of the broken leg injury he sustained in the 2009–10 season. Scans later revealed there to be no damage, however. On 28 November, in a home match against Liverpool, Modrić scored a solitary goal, but it was later credited as an own-goal goal by Liverpool defender. (unreferenced) Done
During this time, Modrić rapidly established his role as playmaker or designated left winger in the team's 4–2–3–1 formation.[citation needed] (outstanding cn tag dated February 2013, looks like a difficult sentence to verify) Done
the 2006 World Cup section is completely unreferenced Done

Other issues

helping the team to achieve 2nd position in the Croatian first league (second, league title should have capitalisation and be linked as it is the first mention) Done
and a place in UEFA Cup (now Europa League) preliminary round (the UEFA Cup, + link, now Europa League is not relevant as it refers only to the specific edition of the competition)
a brace (jargon) Done
contributing most notably in the 2007–08 season when Dinamo became champions by a 28-point margin and won the Croatian Cup in the same year. (this information should go before the previous clause) Done
Initially, Spurs used him as a deep-lying playmaker in central midfield, usually alongside Jermaine Jenas, to utilise his passing range, vision, and creativity to optimum effect. Then-manager Juande Ramos, however, deployed him in an extremely deep defensive midfield role, which his slight frame was not physically suited to. Before joining Tottenham, his greatest success had come in a more advanced, attacking left-sided role; playing him out of position limited his influence. Modrić also suffered from a niggling knee injury early in his Spurs career (none of this is referenced, further at least some is not verifiable) Done