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Talk:Loves of a Blonde/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 04:46, 21 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]


I'll give this a review shortly. Wizardman 04:46, 21 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for reviewing this nomination. Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, suggestions, etc. Best wishes.--Jburlinson (talk) 22:04, 21 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the issues I found:

  • "A famous line is uttered as they are lying in bed afterward." This feels odd thrown into the plot section; I'd just remove it.
 Done
  • " "Maybe," replied Passer, "but it still needs one more thing -- a billiards table"" quotes need citations right after, though I'm assuming it's the same ref that's used in the next sentence.
 Done
  • "approved proceeding with the film, in part" rm comma
 Done
  • " and personally to verbalize the dialogue from the script, " this part reads a bit oddly; reword.
 Done
  • The first editing sentence feels a bit like a run-on; i'd either split the sentence or fine-tune the repetitive parts, such as "..like the big dance situation and the situation.."
 Done

Overall a very well-written article, didn't find much to fix. Article is now on hold and will be pass when the above is addressed. Wizardman 15:45, 31 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your detailed review. All your recommendations were very good and I've made all the changes. Please let me know if you have any further suggestions. --Jburlinson (talk) 22:37, 31 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Everything looks good to me, so I'm happy to pass the article. Wizardman 23:22, 31 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
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