Talk:Loring Air Force Base/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Peacemaker67 (talk · contribs) 00:44, 1 October 2014 (UTC)

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	there is a bit of overlinking, Loring_Air_Force_Base_Double_Cantilever_Hangar, Boeing_KC-97_Stratotanker, Boeing_B-52_Stratofortress, Boeing_KC-135_Stratotanker, 42d_Air_Refueling_Squadron, Minot_Air_Force_Base, 1991_Base_Realignment_and_Closure_Commission, Loring_Air_Force_Base_Arch_Hangar, Flightline, Soviet_UnionY Second half of the Cold War Loring was one of four Strategic Air Command bases with a range like this, a range which was used frequently is repetitive, suggest "Loring was one of four Strategic Air Command bases with a range of this type, and it was used frequently"Y suggest One disadvantage of the location of Loring was its distance from the Strategic Training Route Complex and bombing ranges in Nevada and Utah.Y suggest In 1974, President Richard Nixon stopped at Loring on 3 July in Air Force One (SAM 27000) as he returned from a summit in Moscow, where he and Leonid Breshnev had signed the Threshold Test Ban Treaty.Y this doesn't make sense "In a speech in front of 5,000 people in the double cantilever hangar, he talked about the importance of the speech." - the treaty?Y President and Mrs. Nixon were welcomed home by vice president Gerald R. Ford, who flew from Washington.[22][23] His wife Pat Nixon and daughter Julie Nixon Eisenhower were also in attendance - suggest you link Pat to Mrs. Nixon and remove the duplicate mentionY I think senator should have an initial capitalY An explanation of BRAC is needed, just a sentence, and it shouldn't appear as an acronym at first mentionY although the film erroneously listsed Loring...Y UFO sighting What was/is a Security Option 3? there is a mix of "hours" and "pm" with timings, should be consistent throughout the articleY BRAC 1991 and closure suggest "as well as its distance from bombing ranges"Y suggest "the latter of which contributed to its closure"Y suggest "impact on the future of the community"Y suggest "with 9,900 direct and indirect jobs affected,"Y Accidents and incidents the On 4 October 1989 crash reads as if the text was lifted straight from a news report, it unnecessarily describes the KC135 etc etc, needs to be summarised in the same way as the others.Y Base culture and civilian life - this section reads a bit like a tourism ad Is "Kindergarteners" a word? Perhaps "Kindergarten-age children"Y "morning ofor afternoon"Y "no longer in primarysecondary education"Y "designed to meet all the shopping needs of the residentsof the Loring." include Lutheran as a denomination, it is not a separate faithY "including fishbait and tackle"?Y "This Ski Chalet" - initial caps should be droppedY Current Status "Additionally, mMany other former Air Force facilities have had prisons opened up on their grounds as well."Y "into a prison culture"Y " was eyedconsidered"Y "On the site of the base, tThe Loring Development Authority created the Loring Commerce Centre on 9,472-acre (38.33 km2) of the siteland."Y "Tenants such as Bigelow Aerospace maintains a small satellite tracking station on the grounds as well." SAIC should be in fullY "at the former base as well"Y "Sitel also maintains"Y "other various call centers"Y "The military has also made" suggest "The Defense Finance and Accounting Service Limestone is located in the old base hospital, and is a major component of the Defense Finance and Accounting Service office. BRAC 2005 consolidated 26 offices into 5 and Limestone was one of the consolidation points."Y suggest "Cleanup continued at the base, including the removal of hazardous materials, which prevented further waste from entering the nearby Greenlaw Brook, as it received drainage from the flightline and nose dock areas."Y
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	suggest you use template:cite book in the References section, which will reduce the space used, as well as clutter suggest using shortened footnoting to reduce the clutter in the notes section the current set-up meets minimum acceptable standards under WP:FNNR
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	It isn't likely to be challenged, but "Nixon resigned from office five weeks later." doesn't have a citation.
	2c. it contains no original research.	None that I can see, source spotchecks were all ok
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	Definitely covers the main aspects of the topic
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	It is quite a big article, with about 7.5K words. Towards the top end of readability on such a subject, but acceptable
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	No detectablebias
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	No edit-warring or recent major content changes
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	virtually all PD US Govt, the others are also ok
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	all images are relevant and captions are fine
	7. Overall assessment.	Placing on hold for seven days for the prose to be addressedPassing, well done

• Comment. Copyedited down to Second half of the Cold War - Dank (push to talk) 01:47, 1 October 2014 (UTC)
• Comment I can't find another source for [place.mar.cx/places/us/me/loring_afb_census_designated_place/ this link], as it's the only source for the 1970 census that I can find, and it's also unreliable. Kevin Rutherford (talk) 03:06, 1 October 2014 (UTC)
• Comment Peacemaker67, I have completed all of it. The only thing I didn't address was the "Security Option 3" issue, since I couldn't find it anywhere (even the NRO page has no explanation), and fixing the DFAS link to something else. I think I covered it all, so let me know if you want anything else changed. Also, would you be able to fix the footnotes thing, as I am unsure of how to fix it without breaking everything. Kevin Rutherford (talk) 00:55, 2 October 2014 (UTC)