Talk:Loretta Jones/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: liquidluck✽talk 05:49, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

DoneThe most prominent issue with the article is that it lacks a critical reception section. Please find and add reviews, which might discuss the character, her storyline, or Walton's acting (as examples).

Other than that,

DoneDelink occupation, university, relationship, bullied, killed, kiss, and death per WP:OVERLINK.

Characterisation

DoneCombine the second and third paragraphs in the lead.
DoneThat Loretta is unique as a stereotype-defying stripper needs a citation. Alternatively, you could say something like "Loretta does not conform to dumb blonde stereotypes and expresses interest in bird watching and documentaries."
Done"as many every day females attend university" - does Loretta attend university or have a secondary job? If so, this should be mentioned in the lead.

Comment - Loretta does not attend university, nor has she said on-screen or Walton stated that she has, she was comparing her characters interests in bird watching, roman factual documentaries with uni students. Comparing the two in her statement was showing that her character isn't the blonde stripper stereotype.RAIN the ONE (Talk) 00:37, 3 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Done"[...] in stark contrast to her every day life look." -What is her everyday look?
Done"Loretta then began a secret romance with Jake, opting to deceive her friends, believing had been mislead and like with Ravi, saw the good in him." -I'm not sure what this sentence is trying to say.

Child killer controversy

DoneI'd suggest changing "child killer" to "child murderer" in all instances.
DoneAdd the basics of the Bulger murder to Child killer controversy so that readers can understand the similarities.
DoneThe last sentence in the article needs a citation

Storylines

DoneThe subsection (2008-) can be removed, as there is no other subsection section.
Done"During her job, Loretta meets Dom." -This is confusing, because earlier in the article it says they break up when Dom finds out about her job. If they met while Loretta was working, wouldn't he already know?
Done"where she and Dom" -> "when she and Dom"
DoneAdd a sentence or clause about the end of Don and Loretta's relationship.
Done"towards sister Leila" whose sister?
DoneThe lead says her storylines concern prejudice, but I don't see mention of it here.
Done"[...] and Loretta soon avoids the subject." Why?

Result

~~Pending until April 6, 2010.~~ If the content comments are fixed by then, I'll go over the prose/grammar. Again, the most important issue is the lack of a reception section. Good luck! liquidluck✽talk 05:49, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Pass. Thank you for all your work on the article- it must have been hard trying to find sources discussing a character on a soap. I've gone over the article and copy-edited, but you're welcome to alter my changes. Attaining FA status may be difficult because of its "high quality" reliable source requirement, but the content generally looks good (though you may want a better copy-editor if you do want FA). I believe the article meets the GA requirements and am passing. liquidluck✽talk 23:15, 4 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]