Talk:Loch Morar/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ritchie333 (talk · contribs) 09:41, 25 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I will review.

http://www.ilec.or.jp/database/eur/eur-25.html is a dead link
The picture of the loch on the infobox could do with a caption
There are a number of pictures of the loch in Commons. These could be reused in the article

I think the first two sentences in this section need to be reversed. Start of by saying what the specific geological makeup is of the loch first, then explain the Morar Group of sediments
"selected for its characteristic" - characteristic according to whom?
Why is post-glacial rebound linked as "isostatic rebound"
"at the end of the loch" - just say "at the loch's end"
"Based on estimates of erosion of between 2–4 mm (0.079–0.157 in) per year, it is thought" - per WP:WEASEL, state who specifically thinks this
"The end of the glacial period in Scotland was marked by a final return of the glaciers" - can you reword this to avoid saying "glacial and glaciers" in the same sentence
"An outwash fan made up of sand and gravels" - this sentence seems to be missing a finite verb
"Subsequently colonised by vegetation and known as Mointeach Mhòr (the mossy plain)," - this sentence to the end of the paragraph is difficult to read. What does "these deposits" refer to (the Morar Group?)
"Here the River Morar crosses over the rock bar" - this sounds like it should go in the "Geography" section

I think this section needs to go first. Most people looking up this article will first of all want to know where it is, and what's important about it
" found it to have a mean depth" - suggest "discovered the loch's mean depth was" (can then remove "during their survey of Scottish lochs" later.
"The bottom is deepened below" - what does "deepened below".
Although you've linked "oligotrophic", it would be helpful to explain to a layman reader what this means (supports wildlife that can survive on a low concentration of nutrients)
I don't recognise the terms "inflow" and "outflow" as being consistent with other articles. For example, Loch Ness just says the loch "is connected to" the River Ness.
"The surface of the loch is 9 metres (30 ft) above sea level" - this sentence should be with the basic facts and figures at the start of the section
The paragraph stating local villages probably wants to be reworded and go up front. For anyone who hasn't got a good grasp of Scottish geography, this is invaluable, particularly since the loch is more or less "in the middle of nowhere" and has no major human settlements nearby. I recognise Mallaig, but perhaps it might be useful to say how far away (by road or rail) it is from major settlements such as Fort William, Inverness or Glasgow, as this will give a better frame of reference to the layman reader.

I think this section should be expanded, possibly with a paragraph each for vegetation, fish and mammals.

This section is only two sentences, and needs expanding. Some information in Morag (loch monster) could be reused.

I notice the article previously had a section about human clearance and the lack of proper transport access, but was unsourced. That should have been sourced, not removed.

I'm sorry to announce that I think there's too many issues surrounding this article at present to make it meet GA status. In the first instance, I would collect more sources about the geography, wildlife and human activity surrounding the loch, and use that to balance out the content. The article would then need a good copyedit to ensure a non-geologist would understand it easily. Hopefully then we can look at another GA review in a month or two. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 09:41, 25 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]