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Talk:Living in the Material World/GA2

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GA Review

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Reviewer: GreatOrangePumpkin (talk · contribs) 18:46, 18 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Will take this too.--GoPTCN 18:46, 18 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Hi GoP. Thanks for taking this one on board, and for your comments. Cheers, JG66 (talk) 16:40, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I enjoy reviewing all the Harrison albums. Will you work on Beatles albums ;)?--GoPTCN 20:26, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks so much, GoP, great to see this become a GA. Beatle albums? Hmm ... think I'd best reply on your talk page sometime about that one! Best, and thanks again. JG66 (talk) 10:47, 22 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
    "conspired to keep his musical career on hold for over a year.[2] " - I don't understand this phrase. I suggest you replace "conspired" with a different word
    Well, it is correct English, a little poetic perhaps, I admit. This from my Collins Dictionary: "Conspire ... 2. (intr) to act together as if by design: the elements conspired to spoil our picnic ..." I would like to keep it if possible ("combined" might be an alternative, but I don't think it works as well). Given that dictionary definition, is it something you're insisting on? JG66 (talk) 16:40, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    Yes, a bit poetic, but not a big issue.--GoPTCN 20:26, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    I suggest splitting the Background section and adding a new section, "Content" or "Compositiong and lyrics" or something similar, as most of the information does not deal with the background. For example you write a lot about the themes, especially in paragraphs 3 and 5.
    Not sure I totally agree, but I've added the Content section heading as requested. JG66 (talk) 16:40, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    Yes, thanks.--GoPTCN 20:26, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    "The German bassist" - whose name is... ?
    Actually (and I'm sorry to keep questioning you each time) I don't think there should be any confusion here. The point about a "small core group of musicians" has been made two paras above, where Klaus Voormann has been introduced as the only bass player on the sessions. Also, having contributed recently to the Paul McCartney FA, I was surprised at how few names received any kind of introduction there; I really think the appearance of "Voormann" at the end of the previous sentence followed by "the German bassist" here (after the introduction two paras above) would be clear enough to readers. Again, is this something you're insisting on? JG66 (talk) 16:40, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    I see now, thanks. It is ok as is.--GoPTCN 20:26, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    "London W1 address" - what is "W1"?
    Have added a link to the London W postcode article − I think that should explain it? JG66 (talk) 16:40, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    Thanks.--GoPTCN 20:26, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall: Hold for 2 days.--GoPTCN 15:22, 21 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    Pass/Fail:
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