Talk:Lisa's Rival/GA1

GA Review

Lead

• "It was written the first episode to be written Mike Scully," Needs rewriting
  • Already done.
• "Production of the episode was affected by the 1994 Northridge earthquake, and features references to films such as The Fugitive and Scarface." Are these two clauses linked in anyway? If not split into two sentences.
  • Surely it's better prose. Much better than "Production of the episode was affected by the 1994 Northridge earthquake. It features references to films such as The Fugitive and Scarface." which is boring.
    • I do agree it sounds better your way, but it's strictly a run-on sentence which says "production features ..." not "the episode features ..." Peanut4 (talk) 22:27, 5 August 2008 (UTC)
      • I hate this place's grammatical rules sometimes. Is there a way to keep it as one sentence? Gran² 22:34, 5 August 2008 (UTC)
        • It's not this place's grammatical rules, it's the language's grammatical rules. I'll try think of a way of rewording it. How about flipping the sentence round, especially since the previous sentence is about the episode itself, changing it to "It/The episode features ... Scarface, with production affected ... earthquake."
          • I meant this place's rules on prose, and general grammatic rules in the English language. Anyway, I've changed it. Gran² 23:07, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

Plot

• "It comes to a climax during Springfield" I don't think it refers specifically to anything. I would suggest changing to "Their rivalry" or something similar.
  • Done.

Production

• "The Film Roman building used by the staff was so badly damaged, it had to be condemned." I don't think you need the comma. Either lose it altogether or change with "that"
  • Done.
• "Winona Ryder guest starred." I would suggest she guest starred as Allison Taylor, to make it clear.
  • Done.

Cultural references

• "Principally, the scene where Milhouse is at the end of a dam drainpipe, held at gunpoint by an FBI agent resembling Tommy Lee Jones, who uses the film's famous line "I don't care"." This sentence doesn't appear to have a main verb.
  • Done.

Reception

• "They also noted Ralph's "classic" lines: "I bent my Wookiee," and "My cat's breath smells like cat food." I may be missing something, but they noted them as what?
  • "Classic". I'll change "noted" to "highlighted", so it's clearer.

Only a little bit to do, so I'll keep it on hold. Peanut4 (talk) 22:11, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

All done, except for the lead sentence split. Gran² 22:21, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

Hey, there's nothing wrong with our language's wonderful (and all its less than wonderful nuances!) prose rules. Anyway, I digress!! Thanks for your speedy responses, and a nice little article. Well done, I've passed it. All the best with any future improvements on this and other articles.

Don't get me wrong, I love our language, and all it's crazy little rules, I just can be damned annoying at times! Thanks very much for the review! Gran² 23:14, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

   Peanut4 (talk) 23:12, 5 August 2008 (UTC)