Talk:Lion Heart (album)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 07:31, 18 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Soon... Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:31, 18 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments on prose

I see you over-use the word "album", thus leading to the article having various word repetitions. Please take the article sentence-by-sentence and try to alternate with other words, such as "record" and its name. With that being said, I'm not going to take care of this in my GA review.

Lead

Korean → Korean language
album by → album recorded by
Lion Heart is musically → Lion Heart musically portrays
How can an album be released in two parts? You need further explanation.
August 18 and 19, 2015, by → August 18 and August 19, 2015 by
Word repetitions with "released"
album produced → album spawned
word repetition through "single"
August 18 and 19 → in August 2015
Unlink "South Korean Music Programs"
and performed songs → where they performed material
no need to automatically add a comma after dates
It was nonetheless a commercial success → Lion Heart experienced commercial acclaim ("it was a success" is leaned towards [[WP:FANCRUFT|fancruft)
word repetition through "peaked atop"

Infobox

You need to add an alternative text for the cover artwork

Done DepressedPer (talk) 23:06, 1 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Background and composition

The background information can be removed, as their background isn't important for this and can be read any time on their own Wiki-article.
several word repetitions through "bubbblegum pop" through the entire section
and "Bump It" is a hybrid of various genres that incorporates hi-hat beats → split and make another sentence

Done DepressedPer (talk) 23:06, 1 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Release and promotion

set a dash after "You Think" as well.
Korean → Korean language
The album's details including its title Lion Heart, the release dates, the cover artwork and the tracklist were announced on August 12, 2015. → Details on albums, including its title, release date, cover artwork and tracklist were announced on August 12, 2015
throughout two days → in the span of two days
Another edition with a different cover titled You Think → An alternative edition of the album with a different artwork—titled You Think—
was also released → was additionally released
Unlink "South Korean music programs"
Word repetition through "the group also"
continued on to → continued visiting
Remove "respectively" at the end of the sentence

Done DepressedPer (talk) 23:06, 1 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Singles

Sample is not really needed without a further explanation.
In the first sentence, you have word repetition through "released"
from Lion Heart; it was released for → from Lion Heart for
More repetitions through the section through "released"; alternate with "it was made available for digital download/consumption/purchase" or such.
July 8 → July 8, 2015
A music video song → An accompanying music video for the recording
commercial success → fancruft
July 5-11 → only date the week ended is important
Too many repetitions with "released", "Lion Heart", "music video" and others

Done DepressedPer (talk) 23:06, 1 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

Link "music critics" to music journalism
she added: → she added,
Chester Chin writing for Malaysian newspaper The Star → Add commas before "writing" and after "The Star"
Unlink "The Star"
and criticized → and criticizing
and appreciated → and appreciating
Same comment as in the lead with "It was a commercial success" due to fancruft
August 18–22 → August 22 (when the week ended is what we need)
word repetition through "best-selling album"
country, with accumulated sales standing at 145,044 copies → country, having brought total sales to 145,044 units.
set a comma after "2013 album"

Done DepressedPer (talk) 23:12, 1 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Track listing

You have to add a "Credits adapted from..." sentence here as well.
Was the tracklist of the other releases the same?

Credits and personnel

Credits adapted from Lion Heart liner notes → Credits adapted from the liner notes of Lion Heart
Per MOS:ALBUM#Personnel, the composers and producers shouldn't be added in the credits section once they were incorporated in "Track listing"
You should wiki-link some words on their first appearance (a.e recording engineer, hair stylist etc)

Done DepressedPer (talk) 23:45, 1 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Charts

For a more aesthetic look, you can list the monthly and yearly charts in a column on the right of the weekly charts. (example).

Done DepressedPer (talk) 23:06, 1 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Release history

Unlink all formats and labels

Done DepressedPer (talk) 23:06, 1 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Outcome

Put this article On hold for 7 days. Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:32, 26 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@DepressedPer: Passing! Congrats, Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:23, 2 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.