Talk:Lion Attacking a Dromedary/GA1
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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 16:36, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
Happy to attack this one...
Assessment
[edit]Lead section
[edit]- Who is Édouard Verreaux?
- added --Guerillero | Parlez Moi 21:35, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- 'Barbary’, not barbary.
- Who is Édouard Verreaux?
- fixed --Guerillero | Parlez Moi 21:35, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- Link diorama.
- As it stands the caption—possibly the first thing read—might give readers the impression that the work is modern. I would amend it to something like ‘The restored Lion Attacking a Dromedary in 2018’.
- sounds good --Guerillero | Parlez Moi 21:35, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- The last two paragraphs relate to events many years later, and so would be better in a separate paragraph.
- I don't have an objection --Guerillero | Parlez Moi 21:35, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- I notice the exhibit is also referred to as Arab Courier Attacked by Lions. Worth including in the lead?
- I listed it in the note. There have been many names for this diorama --Guerillero | Parlez Moi 21:35, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
History
[edit]- Link taxidermist; X-rays (capital X needed); DNA testing (Genetic testing); symposium (Academic conference).
- ✗ ...part of Maison Verreaux. - this needs copy editing to make its meaning clearer.
- Who is Antoine-Louis Barye?
- added that he was a french sculptor --Guerillero | Parlez Moi 21:15, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- Ref 2a (Ross) only partly verifies the sentence that precedes it.
- added Rouvalis for the discussion of the skins --Guerillero | Parlez Moi 21:15, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- ...the museum conducted x-rays and DNA testing of the taxidermied animals… - I would improve the prose by amending to ‘...the museum conducted tests on the animals using X-rays and DNA analysis techniques…’, or something similar.
- ✗ Verreaux worked with his brother, not on his own, according to some sources used in the article.
- A citation is needed to verify that X-rays have ben used.
- Ref 3 (Molina) states: “He confirms that the courier on display in Pittsburgh is a plaster mannequin,…”, not that it was mostly made of plaster, as written in the article.
- There is human bones in it that were discovered in 2016, after that source was written. Adding a source for the bones. --Guerillero | Parlez Moi 21:15, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- equivalent to $1,537 in 2019 – needs to be cited.
- I used Template:Inflation without a source for the inflation in The Minute Man (an FA) without any complaints. I also don't think this falls under direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons because the 1898 number is cited. --Guerillero | Parlez Moi 21:15, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- That's useful to know, thanks. Amitchell125 (talk) 21:43, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
Depiction
[edit]- ...considered to be Verreaux's masterpiece. - it's considered as only by Molina in her article. A citation is needed to show it was generally considered to be a masterpiece.
- I attributed the opinion --Guerillero | Parlez Moi 21:29, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- The body of a female lion lies in front of the camel with a long gun on top of it. - doesn’t appear to be verified by Ref 4 (Rouvalis).
- fixed --Guerillero | Parlez Moi 21:29, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- I think Ref 12 (Poliquin) should read p. 97, not 91.
- Yup. My bad --Guerillero | Parlez Moi 21:29, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- ...considered to be Verreaux's masterpiece. - it's considered as only by Molina in her article. A citation is needed to show it was generally considered to be a masterpiece.
References
[edit]On hold
[edit]I'll put the article onhold for a week until 8 October to allow time for my comments to be addressed. Amitchell125 (talk) 20:35, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
- @Amitchell125: I responded to your prompts --Guerillero | Parlez Moi 21:36, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
Passing
[edit]@Guerillero: Apart from a couple of minor points highlighted in red, the article is in good shape. Passing now, nice work. Amitchell125 (talk) 21:54, 1 October 2020 (UTC)