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Talk:Lil Freak/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 | talk2me 01:11, 9 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Overall the article is borderline fail/pass. The prose is of generably good quality especially in the middle portion of the article. Although there appears to be a lot wrong with the article please don't be put off. The changes are all smallish and minimal apart from the "commericial performance" section which needs rewriting and the absense of the 'live performance' section. In the interest of fairness I've failed the article because it requires a lot of work... and this GA review felt more like a peer review. Once fixed I will be glad to re-look over it. The changes below are the only ones required in my opinion. So if all of those are implemented I will happily re-review and pass the song. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 | talk2me 21:57, 10 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Introduction and infobox

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First paragraph
  • First two sentances could be written better. Consider writing Lil Freak is a song by American recording artist Usher, featuring guest vocals from fellow American recording artist Nicki Minaj. It was written by...
Is this a major issue? I prefer for articles to start off this way and mention the featured artist in the follow sentence, as they are featured.
Yes it is an issue because currently the two sentances don't really read well. The sentances need to be re-written. Perhaps Lil Freak is a song by American recording artist Usher, taken from his sixth studio album, Raymond v. Raymond. etc? -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 | talk2me@
 Done
 Done
  • "The Song was released..." → "Lil Freak was released..." (because currently it sounds like you've switched topics to start talking about Stevie Wonder's song).
 Done
  • Reorganise last sentance from first paragraph. E.g. "Lil Freak was released on March 2, 2010 as the second North American single from Usher's sixth studio album, Raymond v. Raymond."
The song was not other North American countries such as Cuba, Haiti, the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, and so on and so forth. Candyo32 02:26, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry my bad... -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 | talk2me 14:14, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Second Paragraph
  • "Carrying a dark tone and composed of heavy bass beats deriving from R&B and hip hop genres" → "Carrying a dark tone composed which, is composed of heavy bass beats derived from R&B and hip hop music,..."
 Done
  • "Lil Freak of more explicit nature than most typical Usher songs." this sentance doesn't make sense and isn't sourced anyway.
 Done
  • "It peaked at forty" → "It peaked at number forty"
 Done
  • "It peaked at forty on the Billboard Hot 100, and eight on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs, becoming Usher's sixteenth top ten hit on the latter chart." surely there's a better way of saying this?
 Done
Infobox
  • Remove <small></small> formatting from the recording locations (no need for it in this case).
Is there some kind of new policy on this? All past GA's make use of the small text.
yes its coming through WP:ACCESSIBLE. Where small text is not required it should be used. Therefore if removing small text doesn't push the text on to two lines it should be removed. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 | talk2me 14:18, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Can you point me where to WP:ACCESSIBLE states this? Candyo32 14:25, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • No WP:ALT text for the single cover.
 Done
I don't know if this falls under OR, but it was not referred to directly but composition reconginizes sensual/explicit lyrics. Candyo32 02:26, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Its a dodgy one that falls border line. To be pre-cautious I would stick to main genres. Rap would be better since 'dirty' isn't necessarily a subgenre of rap. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 | talk2me 14:18, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
 Done

Background, composition and critical reception

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Background
  • Don't mention leaks unless they are significant to the release of the song i.e. if the artist makes a mention of it or if the record label mentions it. per WP:LEAK.
If you think it needs to be removed again I will, but I included it because it charted in the top thirty of the R&B chart due to leaking.Candyo32 02:26, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
If there is a descernable link between the leak and chart (i.e. it charted a week after leaking) then it can be included but this needs to be made clear. mentioning the leak in that case would be better in the chart performance section. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 | talk2me 14:20, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
The leak is also mentioned in the chart performance section. Candyo32 14:24, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Composition
  • MTV News is already linked directly in section above.
 Done
  • Pitchfork Media → Pitchfork Media (internet only publications like this and Slant Magazine are not italicized).
  • MTV News, Pitchfork, AOL etc. personally don't say things. Reviewers or editors from them do. Using the example of AOL, AOL didn't say "heavy back-beat tune confirms Usher's old ways" but Sara Anderson of AOL did say that. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 | talk2me 21:20, 10 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Candyo32 02:26, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Critical reception
 Done

Chart performance and music video

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Chart performance
  • Makes no mention of the certification.
Certification? It wasn't certified.
Apologies I must have been looking at something else at the time.
  • Inappropriately written. Essentially you've accidently written almost a timeline of the song over a period of six weeks.
  • Perhaps since this section is small mentioning its performance on R&B Airplay charts, Hot 100 Airplay, Hot 100 Digital Songs would be advisable.
 Done but not R&B Airplay, since the chart is only on radio-info.com for a week's period unless you use webcitation.org or have a billboard.biz subscription. To make substance of the section the few weeks available were noted to make section substance. With the addition of the Billboard components, I did remove some of it.Candyo32 02:26, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Substance cannot be created by writing the chart trajectory. Though mentioning that it fell and then rose is fine. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 | talk2me 14:25, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I think it is better now with the removal of a few trajectory sentences and addition of Digital and Hot 100 Airplay info. Candyo32 14:29, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Music video
Ciara is linked in the first mentioning with Jamie Foxx in the video's background section. Candyo32 02:26, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Fair play. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 | talk2me 14:25, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Personnel, charts, release

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Personnel
  • No issues.
Charts
  • No issues.
Release
An official date was never recorded. I don't believe it was ever given one due to the heavy airplay received prior to digital download release. Candyo32 02:26, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
OK, I've had a brief look and I can't find anything. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 | talk2me 14:26, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

References, MOS & formatting, misc.

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References
  • Prefix mag should be unitalicized seen that its an online pub.
  • BET Interactive should be unitalicized.
  • Overlinking in ref 21 and 22.
 Done
MOS and formatting
  • Nothing of concern.
Misc
  • The song cover needs to be re-uploaded at 300 × 300 px and a lower resolution. The current version fails WP:NFCC on limited size and limited quality. Also its best to provide a clickable source e.g. amazon/itunes.
 Done but not linked because song is removed on iTunes and Amazon because album release.
Hmm.... I've checked this and it is very strange LOL! but ok. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 | talk2me 14:33, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I know! But I don't think it was on Amazon period besides the album version, and for promo singles, after the album is released that version supercedes the one originally released. Candyo32 14:38, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
To my knowledge Usher has never performed the song live at a major event in the US. I knew about the Graham Norton performance from blogs, but it was not covered by a reliable source. Candyo32 02:26, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I've searched and I can't find a source either but I would definately include this information and source it directly from the show, which is allowed. E.g.
Ref

Norton, Graham (2010-06-07), The Graham Norton Show. BBC One (British Broadcasting Corporation). Series 7, Episode 9.

Ref code

<ref>[[Graham Norton|Norton, Graham]] (2010-06-07), ''[[The Graham Norton Show]]''. [[BBC One]] ([[British Broadcasting Corporation]]). Series 7, Episode 9.</ref>

-- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 | talk2me 14:45, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I added it in the chart performance section. If that's fine. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 | talk2me 14:45, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Yup, its fine, there is a citation template for it, but I think the template is too complicated. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 | talk2me 14:45, 11 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Non-reviewer comments

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