Talk:Let Us Continue/GA1

GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 16:18, 11 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I will be reviewing this! — Ghost River 16:18, 11 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

"President" → "36th President of the United States"
"Johnson became the 36th president of the United States." → "Johnson, then vice-president, ascended to the position"
Subsequently, various Kennedy officials including his brother and Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy. Sentence fragment
"joint session of the congress" → "joint session of the Congress"
Comma after "Kennedy's chief speechwriter"
"at least 9 draft versions" → "at least nine draft versions" per MOS:NUM
Period needed after "stanza from "America the Beautiful""
"by the applause of the audience" → "by applause from the audience"
No colon needed after "described his address as"
"civil rights act" → "Civil Rights Act"

Accession to the presidency

"With Kennedy's death, his vice president Lyndon B. Johnson became the president." → "Upon his death, vice president Lyndon B. Johnson succeeded to the presidency."
"This applied to a large extent to the funeral ceremonies" → 'This was particularly salient during the funeral ceremonies"
Comma after "political isolation with his vice-presidency"
Replace en dashes with commas after Dirksen and McCormack

Preparation for the speech

"All the three former living presidents" → "All three presidents who were still living at the time"
"upon predecessor's death" → "upon his predecessor Franklin Delano Roosevelt's death"
Delink Ted Sorensen, already linked above
Comma after "Kennedy's chief speechwriter"
"and was often referred to as "Master of the Senate"
"In the afternoon" → "On the afternoon"
Delink "Kennedy's state funeral", already linked above
"including Lester Pearson – the prime minister of Canada, Ikeda Hayato – the prime minister of Japan, Anastas Mikoyan – the deputy premier of the Soviet Union, Alec Douglas-Home – the prime minister of United Kingdom, and Charles de Gaulle – the president of France." → "including Lester Pearson, the prime minister of Canada; Ikeda Hayato, the prime minister of Japan; Anastas Mikoyan, the deputy premier of the Soviet Union; Alec Douglas-Home, the prime minister of the United Kingdom; and Charles de Gaulle, the president of France.'
"was shot dead" → "was fatally shot"
"southern accent" → "Southern accent"
could distract listeners from the content and even turned some of them against the speaker. Opinion presented as fact. Who was saying this?
Same with which could also thwart the intended effects of his public appearances.
"8-10 hours" → "between eight and ten hours" per MOS:NUM
"wasn't one" → "was not one"
The lines Public speaking wasn't one of Johnson's strengths. According to Ashley Barrett, his "thick southern accent often took away from the content of his messages, distracting some listeners and agitating others". During his tenure as the vice president, Johnson began to emphasie more on his public speaking skills. should be worked into the prior paragraph, which talks more about this
"Replying to them, Johnson drastically asked, "what the hell's the presidency for?"" → "In response, Johnson asked, "What the hell's the presidency for?""
"at least 9 draft versions" → "at least nine draft versions" per MOS:NUM
"Few lines including" → "A few lines, including"
Missing period at the end of "for fear of being called 'conservative'"

Address to the joint session

Delink McCormack, linked above
"Johnson began by" → "Johnson began with"
"for which Kennedy had fought for so long." → "for which Kennedy had fought throughout his presidency"
"had been talked about long enough" → "had been spoken of for some time without political action"
Strike the line "Respect for this autonomy was in line with his deep conviction"
"With equal steadfastness," → "With equal steadfastness, he assumed" → "and he assumed" (linking to the sentence prior)
"ten times" → "10 times" per MOS:NUM

Evaluation and legacy

"applause of the audience" → "applause from the audience"
"toward the end" → "towards the end"
Replace em dash with en dash after "America the Beautiful", which should be in quotes and not italics
"very slowly, with ~~a lot of~~ feeling, ~~with~~ in a ~~very~~ soft, almost breaking voice"
"southern politicians" → "Southern politicians"

References

Good

General comments

Images and audio clips are all relevant and in the public domain
No stability concerns in the revision history
Earwig score turns up high due to direct quotes, which are part of a PD speech

Putting on hold to allow nominator to address comments. Feel free to ping me with any questions. — Ghost River 17:39, 11 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@GhostRiver – I believe that I have addressed all your concerns. I have rephrased some, and removed a line or two. Do let me know if anything else is required. Thanks! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 18:25, 11 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I made a couple tweaks based on some of your heavier edits, and now I think it's good to go! — Ghost River 19:01, 11 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 05:37, 17 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.