Talk:Let's Kill Hitler/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ruby2010 (talk · contribs) 21:09, 9 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Will get to this one soon (can't review the other one since I haven't seen it yet!) Ruby 2010/2013 21:09, 9 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

There is one deadlink

Fixed. That website just got a redesign, which means there are going to be a lot of new dead links throughout the project... Glimmer721 ^talk 15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Lead

"In the episode, alien time traveller the Doctor (Matt Smith) and his companions Amy Pond (Karen Gillan) and Rory Williams (Arthur Darvill), Amy's husband, ..." - a bit wordy, maybe change to "...and his companions Amy Pond (Karen Gillan) and her husband Rory Williams (Arthur Darvill), crash land..."

Done. Glimmer721 ^talk 15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Hitler -> Adolf Hitler

Done. Glimmer721 ^talk 15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Link for Teselecta?

Done. Glimmer721 ^talk 15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

unexpectedlyregenerates - space needed

Fixed. Glimmer721 ^talk 15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"... the Teselecta pursue her instead, while she has poisoned the Doctor and his death looms." - there are some tense issues here that could be fixed

Changed it to "the Teselecta pursue her instead, whilst the Doctor faces death from her poisoned lipstick". Wasn't sure if I should throw the lipstick in, but I'm not sure how else to say it. Open to changes. Glimmer721 ^talk 15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

You mention Moffat without explaining that he wrote the episode. The director could also use a mention in the lead

Yeah, I just thought that first paragraph in the lead seemed about the right length... Glimmer721 ^talk 15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

while the The Temple of Peace in Cardiff - typo

Fixed. Glimmer721 ^talk 15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Plot

"...joining the Luna University to become an archaeologist as to find the Doctor..." - as to -> and?

Changed it to "to", since she is becoming an archaeologist so she can find him. Glimmer721 ^talk

...the young Amelia ("The Eleventh Hour" - the parentheses aren't closed )

Fixed. Glimmer721 ^talk 15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

More to come! Ruby 2010/2013 01:46, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Production

"...Writer Steven Moffat wanted show Hitler..." - to show?

Yeah... Glimmer721 ^talk 15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Smith, Gillan, and Darvill had previous filmed..." -> previously?

Fixed. Glimmer721 ^talk 15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Broadcast and reception

"The episode also came in a number one..." -> at number one?

Fixed. Glimmer721 ^talk 15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"The episode received positive reviews from critics" - it seems like it received "mostly" positive reviews, as you include some negative ones towards the end

Yeah, those were added later. Glimmer721 ^talk 15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Mostly minor prose issues, so I'll place the review on hold for seven days. Nice work! Ruby 2010/2013 02:25, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I believe I am done! Thanks for reviewing. Glimmer721 ^talk 15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Looks great. I recall this being an interesting episode, though I think I preferred A Good Man Goes to War a little more (simply because of the River revelation). Passing for GA. Keep up the great DW work! Ruby 2010/2013 04:05, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]