Talk:Leslie Grinsell

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Leslie Grinsell/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 02:28, 14 February 2016 (UTC)

I will review this one, comments to follow. Zawed (talk) 02:28, 14 February 2016 (UTC)

Lead

• Wikilink barrow.
  • Done. Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:51, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
• Recite OBE in full followed by (OBE); the preamble may need to be reworded, something like "...was appointed to the Order of..."
  • Agreed and altered the prose.
• Festschrift: follow this with an English translation of the term in brackets.
  • There isn't really an English language translation of this term; rather, English language sources use the German word. Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:51, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• OK, fair enough. Zawed (talk) 08:21, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Early life

• In the heading, delete the years as I think it makes it easier to read (suggestion only).
• Link barrow, Kent, Norfolk.
  • Done! Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:38, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• Repeated use of "antiquarians" in last sentence of 1st para, rephrase to remove one of them.
  • I've altered the prose here. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:38, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• Wikilink for Nicholas Thomas?
  • It seems that the article that we have on Nicholas Thomas is referring to someone else, so I would hesitate about adding a link here. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:38, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• OK, that is fair enough. Zawed (talk) 08:24, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

• "Circa 1937...": seems jarring langauge, especially to start a sentence. Perhaps: "Around 1937..."?
  • Changed wording. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:38, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• "...although their notes for this were destroyed during a Second World War air raid before...": suggest rewording to: "... although their notes for this were later destroyed in an air raid during the Second World War before..."
  • Changed wording. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:38, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• I suggest spinning the paragraph about Egypt into its own section, perhaps with a Second World War heading or Egypt heaing. The Early life section is looking quite long. Also, there is a typo here: "...visiting al of the..."
  • Personally I'm not convinced. There just isn't enough information to expand the Egypt information into its own section. It's only a short paragraph at present and the information doesn't really seem available with which to expand it. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:38, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• I feel this would help break up the long early life section but it isn't something I'm going to insist on. Zawed (talk) 08:24, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Life as a professional archaeologist

• In the heading, delete the years (suggestion only). And shouldn't headings be title case?
  • I've capitalised the necessary wording although would personally prefer to leave the dates in; we have similar date in other GA and FA rated archaeology biographies. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:19, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• Oh OK, I wasn't aware of that. Zawed (talk) 08:30, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

• "...as an assistance at Victoria County History in order..."; typo (assistant) and missing word (project).
  • Corrected. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:19, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• "...represents the high point in his combined..." for clarity as to who we are referring, add in [Grinsell] after "his".
  • Good idea. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:19, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• "Based on his experience during this period, in 1958 he published The Archaeology of Wessex." This sentence could be rephrased as the following sentence chronologically jumps back to 1952. I suggest: He later published the book The Archaeology of Wessex, which was based on his experience during this period.
  • Another good idea. Changed. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:19, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• Recite OBE in full as per comment in lead.
  • Done. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:13, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• Something went wrong there, so I have fixed it. Zawed (talk) 08:30, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

• Festschrift: not italicised (it is in the lead) and follow this with an English translation of the term in brackets. And who/what issued it?
  • I've italicised the word, although there is no English language translation of the term. Ashbee (who is being used as a source) doesn't give the publisher but I'll add the publisher and editors name regardless. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:13, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• Wikilink Wiltshire.
  • Done. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:40, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

Legacy

• Wikilink chalk geology.
  • We have no article on chalk geology itself but I've added a link to chalk. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:02, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• Paul Ashbee is linked here but not on first mention in previous section.
  • Correcting. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:02, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• Dupelink: Berkshire.
  • Removed. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:02, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

Bibliography

• Festschrift: not italicised (it is in the lead).
  • Corrected. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:00, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• et al should be in italics.
  • I've gone one better and added the names of the co-authors: John Campbell, David Elkington, Peter Fowler. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:00, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

References

• I'm getting an error with the Ashbee ref: "|archive-url=requires |archive-date="?
  • I've fixed this. Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:58, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

Images

• Captions are appropriate as are the image tags.

Review summary

With the issues noted above corrected, I believe that this article will meet the GA critera; it is well written with neutral tone, fully cited, organised and laidout appropriately with compliant images. Overall nice work, and an interesting subject. I enjoyed reviewing the article. Will check back in a few days. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 03:09, 14 February 2016 (UTC)

• Many thanks for giving this a read through and offering the above points, Zawed! Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:21, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

• Looks good, passing as GA. Great work! Zawed (talk) 08:31, 16 February 2016 (UTC)