Talk:Les Misérables (2012 film)/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 17:23, 28 February 2014 (UTC)

• Is the "romantic" needed in the opening sentence? It's a little on the long side as it is, but given that the main character Jean Valjean doesn't ever have any romantic interactions with anyone, I don't think that's needed.

Y This classification is also used on a number of reliable outlets, such as Metacritic. —ALittleQuenhi (talk to me) 08:30, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

• You need consistency whether you're using the serial comma or not. One sentence, you have "scripted by William Nicholson, Boublil, Schönberg and Herbert Kretzmer", as well as " Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, and Amanda Seyfried. Notice that the second to last entry varies whether it has a comma or not

Y OK. —ALittleQuenhi (talk to me) 08:33, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

• The lack of "romantic" aside, I think you glossed over a major part of the story with the Marius, Eponine, and Fantine love triangle. In the second paragraph of the lede, the first five sentences all take place in the first like 25% of the film.
• "Les Misérables has been popularized through numerous adaptations for the stage, television, and film, including a musical and a film adaptation of that musical." the current tense feels weird. It's almost as if you got that from the main Les Mis article and plopped it here. Obviously there is a film adaptation, this article is about that :P

Y I can't find this piece, perhaps someone has fixed it before :D —ALittleQuenhi (talk to me) 08:42, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

• "....announced that the film resumed development" - this is odd for the lede, as there's no indication when the film started development there.

Given that the film's development dated back to the 1980s, "resuming" is not the problem. The previous sentence regarding Mackintosh was in fact the issue; this statement could not be found anywhere in the article. —ALittleQuenhi (talk to me) 09:10, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

• "Hooper and Nicholson were approached in March 2011 and the main characters were cast in 2011" - since both events happened in 2011, you could say "...were cast later that year."

Y Fixed. —ALittleQuenhi (talk to me) 09:11, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

• In the last lede paragraph, don't use two "with..." clauses in the same sentence: "with many critics praising the cast, with Jackman..."

Y —ALittleQuenhi (talk to me) 09:13, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

• "being the most often singled out for praise" - little awkward grammar here. Drop the "being the"

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't find anything grammatically wrong in this phrase —ALittleQuenhi (talk to me) 09:13, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

• You should spell out "BAFTA" the first time you mention it, since it's an acronym (and then put it in parenthesis)

Y OK —ALittleQuenhi (talk to me) 09:16, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

• Any chance you could cut down on the whole plot section? It seems some sections are a bit emotional, and a bit excessive in detail. For example:

• "The Bishop urges Valjean to do something worthwhile with his life. Moved by the Bishop's grace, Valjean breaks his parole and vows to start a new life under a new identity." - could easily be condensed into one sentence
• "In their initial meeting, Javert recognizes his face, but cannot place it, and after witnessing him demonstrate his strength by lifting a heavy cart to free a man trapped underneath, becomes suspicious that he is the convict who broke his parole eight years earlier." - could definitely be shorter. - "In their initial meeting, Javert recognizes but cannot place his face, but suspects who Valjean is after witnessing him lift a heavy cart to free a trapped man." - that still carries the gist of the meaning of them, but it's much shorter.

Y All done —ALittleQuenhi (talk to me) 09:50, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

• "He returns to the hospital, where he promises the dying Fantine he will look after her daughter. Shortly after, Fantine dies. " - these could easily be merged.

Y Done —ALittleQuenhi (talk to me) 09:50, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

• "Marius lives in a small room near the Thénardiers and has become friendly with their daughter, Éponine (Samantha Barks). Éponine is deeply in love with Marius, though he considers her merely a friend." - these could also be merged with some pronouns and some sentence restructuring.

Y —ALittleQuenhi (talk to me) 09:50, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

• "The Thénardiers also see Valjean and believe that they now have their chance to extract more money from him. Valjean and Thénardier have an argument and Javert arrives in the street to break it up. Valjean and Cosette slip away before Javert can recognize them. Thénardier cooks up a plot to rob Valjean. Marius pleads with Éponine to find out where Cosette lives so he can see her again." - Feel like this could be restructured for better flow. I'll help if you need it. (I also think "cooks up a plot" is a bit unencyclopediac"
• "Éponine leads Marius to Cosette." - k, great? This could be mentioned earlier when you say "Marius pleads with Éponine to find out where Cosette lives so he can see her again." Merge them ideally, and cut the redundant info. Or, if you don't want to, you could say "After being led by Eponine, Marius meets Cosette and they profess their love for each other, while Eponine laments that her secret love for Marius will go unrequited".
• " Éponine screams to warn Valjean and Cosette. Thénardier is enraged at Éponine's interference, and slaps her." - this seems fairly trivial to be included. Any way to trim it down somewhat?

• "Valjean is refused employment and driven out of every town, because of his paroled status" - remove the comma

Y Already fixed by someone before —ALittleQuenhi (talk to me) 09:33, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

• You have two sentences in the second "Plot" paragraph that just uses a bunch of "she"'s, when using "Fantine" one of those times would be a nice change of pace.

Y Corrected —ALittleQuenhi (talk to me) 09:33, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

• "After a brief escape plot, in which Valjean and Cosette escapes to a convent" - some of this seems redundant

Y Corrected —ALittleQuenhi (talk to me) 09:33, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

• "With the Parisians not joining the revolution as the students expected, they resolve to fight to the death" - slight confusion over who "they" is

Y —ALittleQuenhi (talk to me) 09:50, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

More later. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:23, 28 February 2014 (UTC)

• In the cast section, Valjean is the only one you specify is a Frenchman. Why?
• Maybe wikilink baritone and tenor in Hugh Jackman's section?
• I think Crowe's section could use less quotes and more about his actual preparation (did he ever take any vocal lessons? If not, that'd explain a lot)
• Source for Eddie Redmayne suggesting the a capella beginning Empty Chairs?
• I know what "Les Amis de l'ABC" is, but it's only mentioned once in the entire article. It might be helpful to say Friends of the ABC, as that's how you mention it elsewhere in the article.
• Ref 40 is broken, and ref 41 doesn't seem reliable
• "A highlights soundtrack album" could be worded better
• The second paragraph of "Musical numbers" is unsourced.
• "However, the film was abandoned." - ref?
• "Fellner, Tim Bevan, and Debra Hayward engaged William Nicholson" - is "engaged" the proper term here?
• "but Swift later stated that those reports were not entirely accurate." - why the "entirely"?
• You have the info on Eddie Redmayne in two separate paragraphs in pre-production...
• It seems like a lot of "Cast" and "Pre-production" are the same. Have you considered merging those sections? Like, having the history on the casting when you say who was cast and when?
• Much of the "Filming" is unsourced, and seems too short compared to the extensive "Pre-production" section
• Two paragraphs of "Post-production" are also unsourced
• The second paragraph of "Marketing" seems awfully redundant to what was in "Post-production"
• "with further posters of Thénardiers and Marius released on 1 November 2012." - unsourced
• Could you reorganize the "Reception" more into positive and negative, instead of just drolling out large quotes by various magazines?

All in all, the article has its moments, but there is just too much wrong with it that I have to fail it. Let me know if you have any questions about my review. Cheers. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:26, 3 March 2014 (UTC)