Talk:Leopard shark/GA1

GA Review

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OK, I will begin a review and make straightforward copyediting changes as I go. Please revert if I inadvertently change the meaning. Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 08:40, 17 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

An active-swimming predator, groups of leopard sharks often follow... - a singular subject, then plural - looks odd --> need to make them the same. You can be creative.

Changed. -- Yzx (talk) 04:12, 18 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

between sharks in different parts of its range. - ditto

Changed. -- Yzx (talk) 04:12, 18 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

~~There are some other examples of singular and plural in the one sentence. Generally using singular looks best as a default option unless one is talking about a group of critters.~~

Could you be more specific? Which ones? -- Yzx (talk) 04:12, 18 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'll find some. Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:05, 18 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

In the northern parts of its range, females use bays and sloughs as nursery areas, while to the south they give birth in more open areas - (s/p/p)

Changed. -- Yzx (talk) 21:52, 18 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Leopard sharks are wary of humans and pose almost no danger. - This sentence has bugged me, but I can't for the life of me think of a smoother way to say it.

Overall, pretty good and nearly there. Have a go at singularising some of the sharks and I'll be back later to help out. Casliber (talk · contribs) 09:47, 17 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Leopard sharks are wary of humans and pose almost no danger. - there are two problems:

There is an expected indirect object, as in "... pose danger to something" (in this case, 'to humans', but the repetition reads even worse than the missing object).
The second half of the sentence is a consequence of the first, but the bare conjunction "and" doesn't convey the causality.

The best I can suggest for the sentence is: Leopard sharks are wary of humans and so pose almost no danger. Sorry, that's not much help. --RexxS (talk) 16:49, 18 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Perhaps: Wary and quick to flee, leopard sharks pose almost no danger to humans.? -- Yzx (talk)

Nevermind, actually the last version above is probably the best. I'll leave it to you - no deal-breakers left so I figure yer over the line and the article is GA standard :) Casliber (talk · contribs) 04:20, 19 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]