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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 09:05, 18 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

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  • weight as well as moments of uncharacteristic softness → no need for "moments" a second time
  • and threatened litigation from without → this sounds too complicated and I think readers might fail to understand that
  • by Skinny Puppy's last tour for twelve years → shouldn't it be "...in twelve years"?
  • and "Left Handshake" distributed under the title "Track 10", and was the band's first release to chart on the Billboard 200 → This wording is a bit confusing. Replace with: "and "Left Handhshake", with the latter distributed under the title of "Track 10". Last Rights was the band's..."

Infobox

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  • The "Studio" parametre isn't sourced in the article's body and should be thus removed

Bakckgronund and production

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  • much of the friendliness was gone when it came time to work on → I would rather say: "their relationship worsened when it came to work on"
  • Ogre conceived of and recorded all of his lyrics → no need for the two "of"s
  • on noisy and complicated songs → on noisy and complex songs
  • Picture > The reference does not explicitly state that this was one of the recording places for THIS album.

Composition and content

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  • Often described as Skinny Puppy's darkest work,[27][18] → References not in numerical order
  • and even has some dance aspects → alongside some dance aspects
  • no lyrics were printed on the liner notes.[12][7] → refs not in numerical order
  • but never saw individual release.[35][24] → same as above
  • electric guitar buried beneath the distorted drums and shrieked vocals → "buried" seems to be off in this context
  • "chaos" should be in quotes since it's what the reviewer says; without them, this sounds very unencyclopedic
  • called "Riverz End" pretty but compared it to a foul pool spiked with needles and rusted junk in the same breath → you either need to change the wording to make this more encyclopedic or use more quotes

Outcome

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Hi there again! I reviewed two sections above, which are wonderfully written and only showed some minor mistakes, as does the rest of the article. However, my main concern is that the article is largely based on unreliable sources, and this is a major problem to me since it completely disregards point 2 of the Good Article criteria, being "verifiable". Here is a list of, at least in my opinion, unreliable references the article relies on:

  1. Reference no. 11 is a Facebook source and it doesn't say anything about the recording sessions of Last Rights specifically
  2. Is "Litany.net" a reliable source for all those archives of interviews and articles regarding the band? It seems like it is managed by a fan, but maybe I'm wrong
  3. Reference no. 20 is most presumably unreliable and shows a listing of samples used by the band, compiled by a man named "Peter Cigéhn"; he does not seem to be any music critic or expert after a quick research
  4. Reference no. 24, again unreliable — the band's music catalogue put together by an editor which describes himself as "I grew up in Bahrain then moved to Cheltenham, England where I finished my A-Levels at Cheltenhham College. At University at Buffalo, I studied Philosophy and Computer Science, and then moved to Chicago [...] One of my true passions is travel" here
  5. Reference no. 39 is dead, but is a Facebook source
  6. Reference no.42 is dead as well, but the publisher also doesn't seem to be that reliable
    • — I'm very sorry to fail such a wonderfully written article, but it just relies too much on unreliable sources, and their removal would mean a major trimdown of the content. This is turn would not count for me as "minor improvement" in order to put this on hold. I hope you can do something to fix those issues and renominate eventually. Greetings; Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:50, 25 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.