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Talk:Laser Beam

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Good articleLaser Beam has been listed as one of the Music good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Article milestones
DateProcessResult
May 28, 2016Good article nomineeListed

GA Review

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Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Laser Beam/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 02:59, 19 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Infobox

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  • The link to the album should be to "JPN (album)" instead of "JPN (Perfume album)"
  • You can remove the caption that reads "Laser Beam" artwork

Lead

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Paragraph 1

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  • Who described it as "an electronic song, influenced by 8-bit music"?

Paragraph 2

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  • Can you reword "shifting physical shipments" to "physical sales" or along that line?

Background and release

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Paragraph 1

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  • Reword second sentence to "It was also recorded, mixed, and mastered by Nakata."
  • "track list" --> "tracklist"

Paragraph 2

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  • Great work!

Composition

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  • Again, who described it as "an electronic song, influenced by 8-bit music"?
  • No source for the lead sentence
  • Capitalize the "b" in "Laser beam" please
  • "groups" --> "group's"

Critical response

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Paragraph 1

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  • Nothing! Nada! :)

Paragraph 2

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  • You seem to use "positive" quite a bit, you could also say that they favored the single, enjoyed it, applauded it, etc....
  • You also use semi-colon marks a bit, you can cut it back a bit if possible please

Commercial performance

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  • "groups" --> "group's"
  • Make sure plural matches nouns; "it" should be singular and "they" should be plural -- "in their second week of sales" for example.
  • "groups" --> "group's"
  • Again, could you reword "shifting physical shipments" to "physical sales" or along that line?

Music video

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Paragraph 1

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  • "which appears on the making-up and clothes." --> "which is reflected in the makeup and clothing."

Synopsis

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  • You did a great job at the synopsis; and at them in general–I have nothing to add! :)

Promotion and live performances

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  • "Kasuka na Kaori" should be in quotation marks
  • "3%" should be spelt out as "three percent" please

Track listing

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  • Change title to "Track listings and formats" please
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  • You could add the template that would provide a link for MetroLyrics of the song; use "Edge of the Ocean" for an example, also at the bottom of the article :)

End of GA Review:

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Very few comments, great work! On hold as usual, good luck! Carbrera (talk) 02:32, 26 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi @Carbrera: All done :) CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 02:29, 28 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]