Talk:Landcruisin'/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 08:49, 13 April 2016 (UTC)

Calvin999 Thanks for taking this one. Pedro u | t 23:58, 15 April 2016 (UTC)

• Apart from the bolded example in the lead, use "Lancruisin{{' "}} (without the wiki formatting) so that apostrophe is visibly separated from the quotation mark

 Done

• Anup Paul, professionally known as A.K. Paul, → Full stop

 Done

• , released as his debut solo → It was released as his debut single

 Done

• Info box should have British English date format

 Done

• Written and produced by A.K., → Use A.K. Paul throughout

 Done

• having been described as cinematic and likened to the works of Prince, D'Angelo and Miguel. → By whom? Needs to be separate sentence.

 Done

• by him and brother → by A.K. Paul and his brother,

 Done

• Most music critics gave favorable reviews of the song, saying it matched expectations, although a minority of those dismissed it as inferior to the works of Jai. → This is where the comparisons needs to go. And use Jai Paul.

 Done

• Consequence of Sound suggest to the song is more hip hop, and that their past work was R&B.
  • Oops, I had cited the wrong reference. In fact, there are two Consequence of Sound sources in the article, the one I should've had there was the second. Now it's correct, as that page says "“Landcruisin’” is a maximalist R&B freakout".
• Pitchfork doesn't say the song is R&B or Pop.
  • It says "the track's fractured update of Prince-ly R&B", no mention of pop though. Removed pop, so  Done
• conception of songs* → what does this mean?
  • I meant to say he had written and produced some songs for other artists, but it wasn't that clear for the Jessie Ware example, seeing as he only recorded instruments for that song. I've substituted it with a Miguel song he helped write, and switched the booklet ref too.
• including "Next to Me" by Emeli Sandé and Jessie Ware's "Imagine It Was Us". → Be consistency in formatting

 Done, I think.

• been integrated by → Makes no sense
  •  Done; changed the verb to "categorized".
• a motorbike engine, → a motorbike engine sound effect, (not an actual motorbike engine)
  • "sound of horns and a motorbike engine" This part of the sentence already says that. It would make it a bit repetitive to say "sound of (...) and a motorbike engine sound effect".
• lever drum".[10][11][6] → Numerical order for citations

 Done

• access to updates.[13][14][15][16][17] → Major WP:CITEKILL

 Done

• Use {{reflist|30em}} for the references

 Done

Outcome

On hold for 7 days. 18:25, 17 April 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for the review, Calvin999, I've corrected all the issues pointed above and replied to some. Pedro u | t 19:42, 17 April 2016 (UTC)

Great. Passing.  — Calvin999 20:09, 17 April 2016 (UTC)