Talk:Lady of Quality/GA1
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Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum 16:06, 5 February 2010 (UTC)
- Lead
- The caption for the image in the infobox says "Cover of the first US edition published by E. P. Dutton ...", which is ambiguous depending on how it's read. It could be the "first US edition, published by E. P. Dutton", which implies that there may have been other US editions published by someone else, or it could mean that E. P. Dutton published a series of editions, and this is a picture of the first of them. Do we know how many editions the book has gone through?
- The last sentence of the lead is a direct copy of the last sentence of the article, which looks a bit ... strange.
- Is it "Lucille" as the lead says, or "Lucilla", as the Plot summary says?
- The tenses seem to be slightly askew in a few places: "The novel revolves around the romantic relationship of Annis Wychwood, a wealthy spinster, and Oliver Carleton, a rake who cared little for society's opinion of him". Shouldn't that be "cares"? Did he at some point decide that he did care after all? Similarly: "... when it suited her. This unwillingness to conform actually attracted the hero, rather the repel him". Wouldn't this be better as: "... when it suits her. This unwillingness to conform actually attracts the hero, rather than repels him".
- "Although the hero's personality was similar to many of Heyer's other heroes ...". Is similar?
- Plot summary
- I've never read any of Georgette Heyer's books, much less this one, so I'm trying to get a feel for how the story is told. I have the impression that it's written as a third-person narrative, rather than from Annis's point of view. It would be good to clarify that right at the beginning of the plot summary.
- In general I think this needs to be just a bit longer, it seems rather hurried.
- There's an awkward conjunction of tenses in the first paragraph. "Annis ... reached the age of majority ... [she] chose to move to Bath ... Annis meets runaway heiress Lucilla Carleton ...". I'd suggest casting everything in the present tense, as in "Annis Wychwood ... having reached the age of maturity ... chooses to live in Bath ...".
- "... Lucilla is not close to her other family ...". How many families does Lucilla have? "Rest of her family", or "the other members of her family"?
- "He soon travels to London on the excuse of finding Lucilla a proper guardian." Seems a bit mysterious, what was his real reason?
- "Sir Geoffrey Wychwood, concerned over Annis's developing relationship with Carleton ...". What developing relationship? This is the first we hear of it, and from what's gone before it seems that Carleton does not approve of Annis.
- "Annis agrees to marry Carleton, despite the objections of her brother." It seems to end rather abruptly. Had Carleton asked Annis to marry him before this, or did this come out of the blue? What's Carleton's background. Is he a typical tall dark stranger, older than Annis, also wealthy and intelligent? (I sound like I'm quizing a prospective son-in-law ...). I see there's some of this in the Genre and themes section, but it's difficult to visualise the story without a bit more of that detail here.
- The lead mentions a potential scandal involving Lucille, yet I don't see that explained here.
- Publication and reception
- I'm struggling to reconcile this: "This book, like Heyer's other popular fiction, was ignored by contemporary critics" with the last paragraph of Genre and themes. Were Regis and Westman writing much later? Probably needs to be explained anyway, as in "Writing in XXXX, literary critic Pamela Regis ...".
- I'd suggest merging the last paragraph of Genre and themes into this section to keep the critical commentary together, and moving the whole section to the end of the article.
- "...a first printing of one of Heyer's novels in the Commonwealth ...". Is this the British Commonwealth?
- Genres and themes
- " At twenty-six, Annis has already reached the age of majority, rendering her officially independent. She is a spinster, a classification which liberates her from many social expectations. Annis is also independently wealthy and in control of her own fortune, giving her increasing freedom to live life on her own terms." This is pretty much repeating what we've already been told in the Plot summary.
- "... the hero grows throughout the course of the narrative ...". That seems a very strange idea. Is that taller or just fatter?
- "His lone change was the realization that he wanted a wife and that he loved Annis." Was it really that way round? Or did he love Annis and decide that he wanted to marry her?
I've reworked the plot summary and started work on the lead. I'll likely not get to the rest until tomorrow. Thank you so much for your comments - you have a knack for picking out the weaknesses in text, and I'm sure some of these I wouldn't have even thought about on my own. Karanacs (talk) 19:24, 8 February 2010 (UTC)
- No need to be polite Karanacs, just come right out and say it: "You're one nit-picking bastard!" I won't be at all offended, because it's true. :-) --Malleus Fatuorum 19:31, 8 February 2010 (UTC)
- I'm from the American South and we just don't talk that way - we've made insulting someone politely an art form. At the very least, I'd have to say, "Malleus, bless your heart, you are such(this word has two syllables) a nit-pickin' bastard", or I might get exiled to live with the damn Yankess (and it's cold up there!). Karanacs (talk) 19:44, 8 February 2010 (UTC)