Jump to content

Talk:Lady Gaga Live at Roseland Ballroom/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Prism (talk · contribs) 16:39, 28 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]


Prose

Lead

  • I think the second mention of "Roseland Ballroom" could be changed to the venue, it would be less repetitive.
  • That being said, the first mention of "the venue" could be changed to "it".
  • "high-rise" → "skyscraper" (there's no problem with the original word, it's just that it's the exact same wording as in the Background section)
  • "Gaga revealed that Roseland was the only venue in New York City that she had never played, although she had visited there previously to watch shows" → "Roseland was the only venue in New York City that Gaga had never played, despite having visited it to watch shows."
  • Add taken before "before the time she became successful as a recording artist."
  • "decorated with roses", "lined with roses", "rose-adorned", "rose themed", "adorned with red roses" Excessive mentions of roses
  • "The main set list for the show encompassed songs from all of Gaga's principal releases, including the successful singles from The Fame, lead releases and album cuts from The Fame Monster and Born This Way, and finally the singles from her most recent release, Artpop. Some of the songs performed were sung in acoustic versions." → " The show's setlist encompassed songs from Gaga's discography—The Fame, The Fame Monster, Born This Way and Artpop. Some tracks were performed in acoustic versions.
  • "From its inception" is redundant
  • What does "the spectacle" mean in this context? Doesn't it mean show? If it does, it's redundant.
  • "The set list was also commended for encompassing the whole of Gaga's discography" (a bit similar to the last sentence from the 2nd paragraph. Maybe "The choice of songs was also commended." Actually, I only saw one reviewer highlighting the setlist, so it's best if you remove it.
  • "Lady Gaga Live at Roseland Ballroom had direct impact on the ticket sales of the singer's ArtRave: The Artpop Ball, the price of which had increased by 5.3%." I think you need to TNT this because it's a bit confusing.
  • remove the comma after 2014

Development and inspiration

  • "Thematically both" → "Thematically, both"
  • "The instruments used by the singer like a keyboard" → "The instruments used by the singer, such as a keyboard,"
  • "helped Gaga to climb" → "helped Gaga climb"
  • "A piano was also placed there for the opening performance, in front of a window representing Gaga's old apartment in New York, before she became successful" (Only for the opening performance? A piano was placed there before she became successful? IMO this needs nuking, it's confusing.)
  • "Gaga revealed to MTV News that she prefers to have light food like sandwiches and champagne, when she is performing live. Her vocal coach Don Lawrence, who has been teaching her from when she was 13, mentors the singer before each show, either by being present there or through phone" The food part is trivial and not necessary, the second sentence is a bit ambiguous (before each show of this residency show or every show in Gaga's career?)
  • "utilized" → "used" (as per an FA prose exercise sheet)

Concert synopsis

  • The first sentence is too long, write something like I suggested on the lead
  • "Gaga followed it up with "Poker Face" on the piano; the song had new lyrics introduced about the venue and New York" → "Poker Face" followed, being played by Gaga on the piano. The song was rearranged to include lyrics about the venue and New York (City?).

Critical reception

  • Break the first paragraph in two
  • "explained:" → "explained,"

Commercial reception and broadcasts

  • "secondary markets" (economical or region-wise?)
  • "Letterman and Murray led the crowd through 53rd Street to Roseland" (how?)
References
  • FN14 and 18 are incorrectly formatted (Work. Publisher. Instead of Work (Publisher))
Usage of files
  • All up to code. Although... is there any poster without the Sold Out watermark?
Thanks Prism for the review. Me or Snuggums will take it up in a few moments. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 04:02, 29 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Don't start without me, IndianBio :P! Sorry for the delay, lack of internet access. Snuggums (talk • contributions) 04:04, 29 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Haha, I won't. @Prism:, that poster was actually uploaded on Gaga's official website with that watermark. I don't know whether removing it would be suitable since that would be copyright breaching. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 05:47, 29 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Yeah, I know, thank you anyway. :) Almost all the issues I raised were fixed and I think two weren't corrected. — prism △ 11:21, 29 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Edit: I copyedited the lead's second paragraph. — prism △ 11:25, 29 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for that Prism :). I fixed all but three points, not really sure how to address the last two. I'll let IndianBio address those. Snuggums (talk • contributions) 16:42, 29 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

@Prism:, I have addressed the last two remaining issues. It is indeed the economically secondary market per Forbes, and the second protion I removed since the source (Billboard) did not have it as "how" they led the crowd, and I didn't want to keep it hanging. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 05:50, 30 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Now passing the article. Great work overall! pedro | talk 12:14, 30 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Lady_Gaga_Live_at_Roseland_Ballroom/GA1&oldid=1142346265"