Talk:L.A. Noire/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: GreatOrangePumpkin (talk · contribs) 16:40, 10 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
"When searching an area for clues to the crime, in some cases, players can also find newspapers." - not a requirement, but I would write "In some cases, when searching an area for clues to the crime, players can also find newspapers."
Done - X201 (talk) 10:28, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

What is the name of Phelp's first wife
Done - X201 (talk) 10:36, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"McNamara, said in an interview that " - remove redundant comma
Done - X201 (talk) 10:38, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Another year on, and in June 2007" - confusing; this may mean in 2007 generally, then June 2007. Why not simply "In June 2007"?
Done - X201 (talk) 10:41, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

", which game a new release window of March 2011" - what does that mean?
Done - X201 (talk) 10:42, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"A trailer for L.A. Noire, called "Serial Killer", that shows 90 seconds of gameplay footage as well as a confirming the games actual release date of 17 May" - incomplete sentence; remove "that". Confirmation, maybe? "the games" - "the game's"?
Done - X201 (talk) 10:48, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"and proprietary tech blew" - tech = technology? There is no such word as "tech", except with context
Done - X201 (talk) 10:53, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Team Bondi recreated 1940s'" - should be without the apostrophe, imho
Done - X201 (talk) 10:55, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Link "Steam and OnLive." in Technical section
Done - X201 (talk) 10:57, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"The Pass also includes access to two post-launch downloadable content cases," - I would replace the comma with a semicolon or a colon
Done - X201 (talk) 10:59, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"In addition to the purchasable DLC; a machine gun, "The Chicago Piano" and a bonus suit, "The Chicago Lightning", is available to players that sign up for the Rockstar Social Club." - replace semicolon with a comma, add comma after "The Chicago Piano".
Done - X201 (talk) 13:01, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"On 28 September 2011, Rockstar Games announced a PC version of L.A. Noire, dubbed The Complete Edition, it " - start a new sentence or write "containing...", but a comma is incorrect.
Done - X201 (talk) 13:02, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Link in the same section "patch"
Done - X201 (talk) 13:04, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"depiction has been criticised on some points by some architectural and social historians" - can you name examples?
Done Have removed that line. Checking the ref it seems to be a self published blog so not suitable, the other ref doesn't appear to have anything to do with the claim. - X201 (talk) 13:10, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: A few issues, but all in all in good shape.
Pass/Fail:

Pass A great article! :)--GoP _T ^C _N 14:28, 11 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]