Talk:Léonie Gilmour

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WP:Japan & WP:Women's History Assessment Commentary

This really is a great biography on a woman who must have seemed like a real adventurer to her family and friends. I gigged the References and Citations line in the WP:Japan assessment, as I found these sections I found deficient:

Life section: the 2nd, 4th, and 6th paragraphs don't have any in-line citations
- the 7th paragraph can also be included in the list, as the only citation is within the parentheses.
Literary works: No citations, which really needs one after the sentence with "It has been speculated..." That phrase begs the question, "Speculated by whom?"
Interest in Gilmour - no references.
Number of references: While it is not too much problem for the B-class assessment, many editors and (I think) a Wikipedia policy do not take a favorable view of an article where the majority of citations come from one source. One author can be mistaken, biased, accessed outdated information, etc. A variety of references is preferred so that the validity and neutrality of the information can be cross-referenced.
In-line citations:All paragraphs need at least one citation, and unusual claims within paragraphs need citations.

Also, I believe with a little work, this article may qualify for GA status. Here are my opinions regarding that goal:

For GA status, the Lead needs to be expanded. It should provide a summary of the body, such that everything described in the body should be mentioned briefly in the Lead.
More historical context should be provided throughout the text, which would fill out the body. As it is, the reader has the impression that Gilmour is sort of in a cultural and temporal vacuum. Unanswered question that come to mind:
- Why was Noguchi in New Jersey? What had he done in California? How unusual was it, or what did it mean, for a white woman to be employed by an Asian in 1901? Was this considered a clerical job, or as it unusual for Gilmour, as a woman, to be employed as an "editor"? Why did Noguchi go to England, and for how long? What did Gilmour do during that time? Was their "marriage" (based on the piece of paper) legal by Japanese laws? Why did Noguchi feel compelled to leave at the outset of the Russo-Japanese War? How did that was affect a Japanese citizen living in the U.S.? If Gilmour was born in NY, how did her mother get to Los Angeles? And what happened to her father? ...
- The account follows the life of Gilmour pretty well, but is written with blinders, as there is little information on anything or anybody else, which would provide more context, and thus provide better understanding of Gilmour.

Good luck! Boneyard90 (talk) 14:35, 7 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

External links modified

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