Talk:Kylie Gauci/GA1
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 17:43, 23 July 2013 (UTC)
Comments
- Lead doesn't really summarise the whole article, just talks about her three Paralympic medals.
- You haven't explained her disability class in the article.
- It gets very complicated very quickly. There's a whole article on the subject (which is linked). In a nutshell a 2-pointer has "some partially controlled trunk movement in the forward direction, but no controlled sideways movement. They have upper trunk rotation but poor lower trunk rotation." It would interrupt the narrative. I could put it in a footnote. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- "Her 2008 national team coach said" who was it?
- "While only a member of the New South Wales women's junior representative team, she played" -> "While only a member of the New South Wales women's junior representative team, Gauci played"
- "warm up" -> "warm-up"
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- "2012/2013" -> "2012/13" etc
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- You abbreviate to DAS but never use it again, any point in that abbreviation?
- Removed. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- " 51-50" etc en-dash required for scorelines per WP:DASH.
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- "2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2001." spot the error...!
D'oh! Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- " MVP 2 Pointer " expand MVP before using it as an abbreviation.
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- "She first played for the Australian junior national team" -> "Gauci first played...
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- "first played... first competed..." repetitive.
- Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- "She represented Australia as a member of the national team" Gauci represented...
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- Don't repeat "known as the Gliders"
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- "She competed with the team at the 2004 Summer Paralympics in " Gauci competed....
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- " and 2008 Summer Paralympics n Beijing" typo.
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- Fix the Statistics table per the comments I made in the Sarah Vinci review.
- All the columns are already aligned in this one.
- Similarly that key is too big.
- Tried squashing it.
- Check ref titles comply with WP:DASH, e.g. ref 15.
- Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- Check ref 23, something amiss there.
- Corrected. Oddly, the link worked fine. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- Ensure refs have publisher, author, accessdate, publication date etc where possible, e.g. Ref 27 is lacking.
- Corrected. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
A few issues here, so I'll put it on hold for a week. The Rambling Man (talk) 17:12, 24 July 2013 (UTC)
- All points addressed. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 24 July 2013 (UTC)