Talk:Kurnianingrat/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Juxlos (talk · contribs) 06:55, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
@Arsonal: I'll review this as my first GAR. Give me 2-3 days to read through the article and complete a first pass. Done in a day, turns out.
- Is it well written?
- A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
- Several ambiguous sounding sentences:
- "the school soon closed as Dutch families began leaving for Australia and elsewhere.[13] Kurnianingrat also evacuated to the country with her family," this reads as if Kurnianingrat left for Australia, which from the following prose I assume she did not.
- Changed "country" to "countryside". —Arsonal (talk + contribs)— 20:39, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
- " She also continued teaching students in secret other high school teachers" - missing a word, I feel
- Added "with" before "other high school teachers". —Arsonal (talk + contribs)— 20:39, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
- "Despite inspections by Netherlands Indies Civil Administration soldiers at her home" - could use a copyedit
- This sentence seems clear to me. How did you interpret it? —Arsonal (talk + contribs)— 20:39, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
- "of her home" sounds ike it'd be better.
- This sentence seems clear to me. How did you interpret it? —Arsonal (talk + contribs)— 20:39, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
- "the school soon closed as Dutch families began leaving for Australia and elsewhere.[13] Kurnianingrat also evacuated to the country with her family," this reads as if Kurnianingrat left for Australia, which from the following prose I assume she did not.
- Several ambiguous sounding sentences:
- B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
- A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
- Is it verifiable with no original research?
- A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
- B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:
- What made you decide Sutherland's MA thesis as a RS?
- Heather Sutherland is a well-known and respected historian on Indonesia. WP:SCHOLARSHIP indicates preference toward secondary sources if I want to talk about Kurnianingrat's Master's thesis, so since Sutherland cites Kurnianingrat in her own thesis, I used it as reference. This thesis has also been cited in other works by subsequent (western) historians and scholars of Indonesia. WP:SOURCEDEF also appears to indicate that the source's reliability can be derived from Sutherland's authority on this topic. —Arsonal (talk + contribs)— 20:39, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
- What made you decide Sutherland's MA thesis as a RS?
- C. It contains no original research:
- D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
- A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
- I feel like the actual part on her career between the late 1950s and 1991 is significantly underrepresented in the article, while her early life feels quite detailed. Do the sources elaborate further on her career?
- Unfortunately not. The main biographical sources, Zainu'ddin (1997) and McCarthy & Zainuddin (2017), rely heavily on Kurnianingrat's unpublished memoir (but they also filled in a lot of details and provided more helpful context, such as her association with Dahlan Abdullah). Since Kurnianingrat died before she could complete the memoir, these two sources largely stopped after involvement with IPBI. I identified a source in Indonesian (that possibly fails WP:SCHOLARSHIP) that mentioned her being on the board of Lembaga Sensor Film, but no further information, and I haven't been able to corroborate it with other sources. A couple weeks ago, I obtained a 1974 article of Tempo that talks about the background of her 1973 book, Practical Conversations. I will incorporate that shortly, but beyond that I have found nothing else. —Arsonal (talk + contribs)— 20:39, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
- More minor, but her death in prose is only written as "October". Might as well at the 18 there.
- Added date. —Arsonal (talk + contribs)— 20:39, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
- "By 2015, more than 10,000 volunteer placements had been completed by Australian Volunteers International in countries around the world" - feels quite tangential to the article
- Removed. —Arsonal (talk + contribs)— 20:39, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
- Do you believe that notes c) and d) are relevant?
- I could be persuaded to remove c), but I feel it's helpful to include to provide WP:AUDIENCE with more context on the administrative structure of the East Indies government to define what a bupati is, so that readers understand the family background. Footnote d) is along the same line, but I think it's more important than c), as it provides more context as to why Sastrawinata's third wife was considered more worthy of the Raden Ayu title than his second (Kurnianingrat's mother). —Arsonal (talk + contribs)— 20:39, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
- I feel like the actual part on her career between the late 1950s and 1991 is significantly underrepresented in the article, while her early life feels quite detailed. Do the sources elaborate further on her career?
- B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
- A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
- Is it neutral?
- It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
- There is a heavy dependence on sourcing from works by Alisa Thomson Zainu'ddin. This is not necessarily a failing criteria – perfectly aware of the number of Indonesian figures super extensively covered by just one author and barely by others. Still, in the meantime, it could be great if you could find potentially other authors especially if you plan to take this to FA. Tone is sufficiently academic, though, so a pass on this point.
- Unfortunately, no other author has written enough on Kurnianingrat that would be considered "significant coverage". Both George McTurnan Kahin and Benedict Anderson have noted her in some of their book acknowledgements, but they haven't written about her biographically. Other publications in Indonesian, such as this tirto.id article, have simply been writings based on the sources I have incorporated already. —Arsonal (talk + contribs)— 20:39, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
- There is a heavy dependence on sourcing from works by Alisa Thomson Zainu'ddin. This is not necessarily a failing criteria – perfectly aware of the number of Indonesian figures super extensively covered by just one author and barely by others. Still, in the meantime, it could be great if you could find potentially other authors especially if you plan to take this to FA. Tone is sufficiently academic, though, so a pass on this point.
- It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
- Is it stable?
- It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
- It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
- Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- The image of Ali Sastroamidjojo could use an URAA tag.
- Added. —Arsonal (talk + contribs)— 20:39, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
- The image of Ali Sastroamidjojo could use an URAA tag.
- B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- Overall:
- Satisfactory for a GA, including after the Tempo extra half-paragraph. Comprehensive as far as sources are available. Passing this (and also changed the topic to "Education", much more appropriate).
