Talk:Kuala Terengganu/GA1

GA Review

Hello there. I'm really sorry for the late reply. I hope you're quite satisfied with the article so far. If anything, I will try to make the article better. Thank you so much. Oh thank you for giving this article the GA opportunity. ^^ Fikku fiq (talk) 11:48, 9 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Don't worry, there is WP:NORUSH. Since there have been a number of edits to the article after starting the review, I will re-inspect the article. sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 12:40, 9 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I WP:AGF for all sources in Malay. sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 12:03, 10 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Lead section

Per WP:LEADLENGTH, articles of this size should usually have three to four paragraphs in the lead section. The lead section needs to be expanded. sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 06:17, 10 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Etymology

"Another story, said to have been originally narrated by the ninth Sultan of Terengganu, Baginda Omar, and what is considered to be the most popular version, tells of a party of hunters from Pahang roving and hunting in the area of what is now southern Terengganu." I would rewrite this into: "Another story, which is considered to be the most popular version, is said to have been originally narrated by the ninth Sultan of Terengganu, Baginda Omar. It tells of a party of hunters from Pahang roving and hunting in the area of what is now southern Terengganu." sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 06:27, 10 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

History

"The Chinese was already present in Kuala Terengganu at that time." - "was" should be changed to "were".
"But, in 1839, Tengku Omar returned to Terengganu with his entourage to reclaim the throne." - I would change "But" to "However".
Other than that, there are no problems. sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 11:06, 10 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Governance

"As it is the capital of Terengganu, the city is vital to the political and economic welfare of the state." - remove "it is"
"On 16 December 1996, Kuala Terengganu Municipal Council was extended to cover the entire area of Kuala Terengganu district back then, including the famous resort island, Redang Island." - remove "famous" per WP:PEA
"As the local council for the districts of Kuala Terengganu and Kuala Nerus, and an agency under the Terengganu state government. MBKT is responsible for public health and sanitation, waste removal and management, town planning and beautification, environmental protection and building control, social, economic and tourism development, and general maintenance and constructions of urban infrastructure." - there should be a comma instead of a full stop here.
"Kuala Nerus main centre of population includes Manir and Batu Rakit." - clumsy. I would rewrite it as "The main population centres of Kuala Nerus include Manir and Batu Rakit."
"The Universiti Sultan Zainal Abidin (UniSZA) Teaching Hospital is now under construction, thus providing this district with a new significant establishment." Remove "significant"; readers should be left to decide if a development is significant.

--sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 12:03, 10 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Everything is now changed according to your suggestions. ^^ The lead section is now split into three paragraphs with some additional information. Fikku fiq (talk) 13:04, 10 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Geography

Topography and geology

Add the word "the" before "Redang archipelago" and "Redang Islands"
"and are designated as a Marine Park in 1994" - what is a "Marine Park"? This is un-understandable to non-Malaysian readers.

Climate

"'considerable' amount of rain" - what do you mean by "considerable"?
"the sea breeze from South China Sea has somehow moderating the humidity in offshore areas" - somehow moderates
"It is inadvisable to visit" - not advised
In the climate data box, why was the October precipitation and the November precipitation italicized? (I have boldly fixed this)
What about December precipitation?

--sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 13:17, 10 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I've looked at the precipitation data for December 2014, and while MET Malaysia can confirm that the precipitation was above 1,200 mm (way above average), there's no amount written. Fikku fiq (talk) 14:06, 10 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Demography

Per WP:CITSTRUCT#Demographics, this section should be renamed "Demographics"
"By the 19th century, Kuala Terengganu has become a large and populous town." How is it "large and populous"? Also, "has" here should be "had"
"Thomas John Newbold, an English soldier in the service of the East India Company" - working for
"estimated population of Kuala Terengganu was around" - I would change this to "estimated the population of Kuala Terengganu to be"
"The Chinese settlement in Kuala Terengganu, Kampung Cina, has become an old and established settlement." - had
"Other residents include Non-Malaysian citizens" - non-Malaysian
"Indian (867)" - Indians
I would combine the two paragraphs about data by the 2010 census.
"Mosques and halal food establishments can be found all over the city." - How is this relevant?
"The Malays in Kuala Terengganu speak a distinct Terengganu Malay and is the main lingua franca in the city." - I would rearrange it into "Terengganu Malay is the main lingua franca in the city and is spoken by the Malays in Kuala Terengganu."

--sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 13:31, 10 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

For me, [1] has connection issues. sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 13:34, 10 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Edited according to suggestions. The original link is now changed to a new working site. Fikku fiq (talk) 14:08, 10 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Economy

"As the principal gateway for tourist to the state" - tourists

Cityscape

Entire section is unsourced.

--sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 14:45, 10 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Public facilities and transportation

Public transport

"There is also trishaw services" - replace "is" with "are", and I would replace "trishaw" with "cycle rickshaw" for consistency
"Cars may be hired at certain outlets and at the airport." Source?

Air

"A medium-sized airport called Sultan Mahmud Airport" - why is it medium-sized?
"Malaysia Airlines has also bring passengers to the Holy Land Mecca via Jeddah and Medina during the hajj seasonal."
- also brings
- Per WP:PBUH, honorifics are not neutral should not be used. Please remove "the Holy Land"
- Wikilink Hajj
- season

--sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 01:28, 11 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Banking services

"Malaysian central bank, Bank Negara Malaysia maintains" - The Malaysian central bank
"maintains the east coast branch" - should that be "its east coast branch"?

--sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 01:46, 11 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Religious Institutions

Do not capitalize "institutions" --sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 07:17, 11 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Education

Wikilink "tertiary education"
"Other tertiary education institute are" - "institutes" should be plural, and I would use the word "include" instead of "are"

--sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 07:24, 11 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Everything's done. (I humbly apologise to you for all those silly grammar mistakes/typos. I should have realised them sooner T3T) Fikku fiq (talk) 10:17, 11 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

So… before I continue, I think it would be a better idea to first copyedit the article. Read through the article again, fix any grammatical mistakes/typos you find during the process. sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 13:11, 11 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

OK. I've checked and edited the article. I hope it'll be better this time ^^ Fikku fiq (talk) 14:25, 11 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Tourism and culture

Attractions and recreation spots

Historical

"The Terengganu State Museum is located in Kampung Losong. It is the largest museum complex in South East Asia with an area of 27 hectares." Please define "South East Asia". This statement is very likely to be challenged, but I will assume that it is cited by sources.
"During the holy month of Ramadan" - remove "Holy" per WP:HONORIFIC and WP:PBUH, or alternative add "Islamic" before "holy"

Leisure

"However, visitors are not recommended to swim in the waters there because of strong waves. Taman Shahbandar is also a popular recreation place in Kuala Terengganu. It is located by the Terengganu River estuary. Taman Shahbandar is located close to other famous attractions in Kuala Terengganu such as Pasar Payang, Bukit Puteri and Istana Maziah." Source? Also, what makes these attractions "famous"?

Edited according to suggestions. Sources are added to the paragraph and the section for Media. Fikku fiq (talk) 11:48, 12 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

On hold

Fikku fiq and Muffin Wizard, I am placing this article on hold. sovereign°sentinel (contribs) 07:24, 12 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Just want to say thank you for taking your time reviewing this article. ^^ Fikku fiq (talk) 11:51, 12 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Ow, it's okay as I'm just doing my part on cleaning up the links for GA criteria article. :) ~ Muffin Wizard^;) 01:55, 13 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	Concerns have been brought up and fixed.
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	Concerns have been brought up and fixed.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	Originally unsourced content has either been removed or sourced.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	Sources are good enough for this topic.
	2c. it contains no original research.	Content that may constitute original research has either been removed or sourced.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	A few aspects have been added during the review.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	No problems here.
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	The tone of the article was originally quite positive, although that has been addressed.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	Most, if not all edits are constructive and improve the article. No edit warring.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	Great work with the images. Please note that I helped transfer a few images to Commons.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	All images have suitable captions and are located at suitable locations.
	7. Overall assessment.	I am going to pass this article. There has been a lot of progress and the article now meets the GA criteria.

Thank you so much for your help and review Sovereign Sentinel. ^^ Fikku fiq (talk) 07:56, 14 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]