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Talk:Knock You Down/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]
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Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: — Legolas (talk2me) 18:14, 26 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well well well, you are one lucky son of a gun today! — Legolas (talk2me) 18:14, 26 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Checklinks
Two redirect links. Replace them.
DAB links
Three DAB links. Replace them.
 Done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 23:20, 1 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Media review
  • File:Knockyoudown.ogg – The sample is actually 64 KBPS, thats not below the threshold for the low quality. Try uploading the same sample with 56 KBPS. That should do it.
 Done
  • File:Knockyoudownvideo.jpg – Fails WP:NFCC#3a grossly. Candy, you are experienced enough to know how it fails NFCC, I will leave it upto you to upload a correct image. And correct the rationalisation paragraphing.
 Done, and it seems like two caps, but in actuality it is only one from the video, as it has both shots.

Prose and other reviews

[edit]
Infobox
  • You donot mention the recording studios name anywhere in the article, neither they come up in the credits. And they are unsourced. Either source them, or remove them. And PS, if you source them through the liner notes, please add the catalogue number for the version album in the liner note reference.
Lead
  • along with Kevin Cossom, Marcella Araica, and Danja, who produced the song. --> Rephrase, it reads as if the last group produced the song, in reality it was actually Danja.
 Done
  • elements from the genres of hip-hop and pop music --> Why go in circles? Make it simple "elements from the hip-hop and pop genre."
 Done
  • The lyrics of the song pertain to the dissolving of a great love. --> I don't follow how a great love/passion going wrong is = dissolvement of love. Are you even aware of what that means?
 Done, but if not sufficient, I will remove completely.
  • Lines of the song also reference Michael Jackson, and the song was coincidentally released in numerous countries during the time surrounding the death of the late singer --> "Lines of the song also reference Michael Jackson, and the song was coincidentally released in numerous countries during the time surrounding the death of the late singer" --> Part of the song refers to Michael Jackson; coincidentally it was released at a time, surrounding the death of the late singer.
 Done
  • Consecutive sentences beginning with "The song", Replace with the actual name sometimes.
 Done
  • as Hilson is caught in a love triangle with her former partner, West, and new-found love, in Ne-Yo --> Make it a new sentence. " Hilson is portrayed as caught in a love triangle with her former partner West, and new-found love Ne-Yo."
 Done
  • The video received positive reviews, which appreciated the given performances. --> ???
I mean they complimented their performances in the video, but they necessarily weren't acting, I don't know. How should I word it?
  • and other shows --> Remove
 Done
  • to which she used the Jackson reference in the song to perform a dance routine paying homage to him, as a part of the awards' tribute to the late singer. --> Bad construction. "She also notably performed the song at the 2009 BET Awards, where she used the Jackson reference of the song to give a tribute performance to the late singer."
 Done
Background
  • First of all, there's enough material to warranty a separate section for the composition.
Question, if I split up, should the Jackson part be Background or composition? Candyo32 - Merry CHRISTmas :) 04:11, 31 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]
If are you writing about the reason for the Jackson inclusion, then it should be in the composition section. If there's a background story as to what inspired the artists to include Jackson's name suddently, then of course it will be in the background section. — Legolas (talk2me) 04:32, 31 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • As both gained initial notoriety as songwriters, Hilson and Ne-Yo knew each other --> This is part of a huge sentence, which needs to be chopped. "Hilson and Ne-Yo knew each other from their days as co-songwriters. Hilson had appeared as Ne-Yo's love interest in the video for his song "Miss Independent," the second single taken from his 2008 album, Year of the Gentleman."
  • In a September 2008 interview with Rap-Up about a recent crop of songwriters becoming singers, Ne-Yo said "For one, I think Keri Hilson’s too freakin’ pretty to be in the background. For two, her voice is incredible—on top of the fact that she can write. So I think that she’s definitely one that deserves the spotlight --> How is this sentence related to the background of the song in any way?
Background information about the relationship between Ne-Yo and Hilson? I'll go ahead in remove if you still think so. Candyo32 - Happy New Year :) 01:19, 5 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • West also refers to the domestic abuse accusations against his Jackson's father, Joe, in the following lyric "Now mad, real mad, Joe Jackson --> I beleive a further explanation is needed as to why those lyrics and reference to MJ was included.
There is no source to say why those lyrics were included... Candyo32 - Happy New Year :) 01:19, 5 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Knock You Down" is a R&B song with a length of song with a length of five minutes and twenty six seconds --> ???
 Done
  • The trimmed radio edit of the song, and the one present in the music video is only four minutes and twelve seconds --> Irrelevant
 Done
  • and vocals span from F3 to D5 --> Who's vocals? I see different ranges in the sheet music for the artists.
Hmm, how do you tell that. I just thought list at the bottom of the page where the vocals spanned. Candyo32 - Happy New Year :) 01:19, 5 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • It follows the chord progression E♭-F-B♭-Gm --> En-dash between chords
 Done
  • The verses are described as "thumping bass-beat" while the chorus is in a "frenetic midtempo groove."[ --> Described by whom?
 Done
  • before the song ends with the chorus with Hilson accompanied by Ne-Yo --> With the chorus by Hilson, accompanied by Ne-Yo.
 Done
Critical reception
  • Although Nick Levine of Digital Spy gave the song three out of five songs --> ???
 Done
  • Rephrase the next protion of the quote. Same problem, extremely lengthy lines, whining like a snake.
  • double-dutch --> wikify
Done
  • Knock You Down" was nominated for numerous awards --> Numerous awards =/= 3 awards
Done
  • which was assisted by Kanye West and Rihanna --> Unnecessary
Done.
  • The accompanying reference talks about the nomination, not Jay-Z's win.

More to come. I would have quick-failed this article because it fails WP:GA?1a and b on a large ground. But I know Candy is a hard worker, and must have worked his ass off for the article. Just to let you know, do not nominate such an underprepared article hastily the next time. These are the same kind of issues that I have pointed out "twice" in your FLCs, are you not paying attention or you don't want to? — Legolas (talk2me) 09:10, 29 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Are you even planning to continue with it Candy? — Legolas (talk2me) 11:53, 4 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Oops, this is what multitasking does to you lol. Sorry! Candyo32 - Happy New Year :) 01:19, 5 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Chart performance
  • The single became Hilson's highest charting single as a solo artist.... the whole line --> Along with "The Way I Are", it was Hilson's highest charting single on the Hot 100.
 Done
  • It was a multi-format success in the United States also, topp... --> Topping the R&B and the CHR top 40 doesnot make it multiformat smash. AC is also there. So remove that multiformat smash part please.
 Done
  • On the Canadian Singles Chart --> Canadian Hot 100, Canadian Singles chart is not the official chart anymore
 Done
  • Singles Chart,and --> missing space
 Done
  • where it peaked at for two weeks --> where it remained for two weeks.
 Done
  • The song performed the best on the New Zealand Singles Chart --> remove second "the"
 Done
  • and was eventually certified Platinum by the Recording Industry Association of New Zealand ---> and was eventually certified Platinum by the Recording Industry Association of New Zealand (RIANZ).
 Done
  • "Knock You Down" appeared on other charts worldwide charting in the top twenty of Norway ---> "Knock You Down" charted in the top twenty of Norway
 Done
Music video
  • Join the first two sentences.
 Done
  • Both are reflecting on their previous relationship --> Both start reflecting on their previous relationship
 Done
  • The video returns to the present, with Hilson and West shown breaking ---> The video returns to the present, showing Hilson and West breaking up
 Done
  • West then raps his lines as reminiscing clips of he and Hilson's relationship are shown. ---> remove
 Done
  • West then confronts Hilson, and Ne-Yo also approaches the duo before Hilson walks off ---> He then confronts...
 Done
Live performance
  • Hilson performed rendition of the song for her --> a what rendition? ballad? jazz? soul?
 Done
  • She also performed the song with Ne-Yo as a supporting act on his Year of the Gentleman tour in 2009 ---> You make it look as if Ne-Yo was the supporting act of the tour, sighhh. "She also performed the song while being a supporting act to Ne-Yo, on his Year of the Gentleman tour in 2009".
 Done
Credits
  • Please use en-dash and the "artist – credit" format, as per WP:SONGS
 Done
Charts
  • The singlecharts templates doesnot have accessdate associated with them. Please add.
 Done
  • U.S. --> US
 Done
References
  • You still haven't corrected the italicization of online and printed sources.
 Done
Composition
  • I seriously don't like to re-review sections I have pointed out errors, but why isn't en-dash being used in the chord progression?
It is....I did that when you pointed it out. Candyo32 - Happy New Year :) 16:12, 8 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Please correct these issues, after which I will decide the GA status. — Legolas (talk2me) 15:53, 7 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The concerns have been addressed, I am happy to pass this for GA. If you want to progress further with the article for eg: FAC, I believe you have to maintain it hard. Congrats. — Legolas (talk2me) 09:54, 9 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
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