Talk:Kissing You (Des'ree song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Beloved Freak 09:47, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
A few comments/issues/suggestions, see below
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
No apparent problems
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
No apparent problems with breadth or focus
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
Fair & balanced
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
No apparent problems
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Image and sound file look fine.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

This looks very close to GA, just a few comments on the prose. There are no links to disambiguation pages or dead links. No apparent copyvio or plagiarism problems (checked with CorenSearchBot, Earwig's tool and spot checks on online sources).

Lead

Might be worth stating that it is a pop song in the lead
"...Des'ree's third studio album, Supernatural" - as you include a year for the film, and the album was released in a different year, could specify the album's year of release too
"The tune was well-received..." - I appreciate you're using a synonym for song, but tune implies the music was well-received (but maybe not the lyrics?)
"The change-of-title and music video..." - seems a little awkward; I don't think the hyphens are necessary here
"...and thus, Des'ree's publishers..." - don't need this comma

Background

On my screen, the text is being squashed between the song sample and infobox, so I'd move the sample, either to the right, or into the bottom of the infobox (either option would put the sample in almost the same place)
"The pop ballad uses only piano and string instrumentation" - do you need three citations for that? (Just thinking of ease of reading...)
There's possibly some overlinking in this section, but I'll leave it up to you whether you really want to link string instruments, arranged, piano and string; at any rate, only link string instrument once. You might consider linking the soundtrack as the film's soundtrack, so that the reader realises the link goes to that specific soundtrack rather than just an article on soundtracks in general
When was "Life" released?

Reception

The Charlotte Church bit looks odd, because it's not a critical review as such, but an informal interview. I'd still include it, but I think you need to move it after the other reviews, and make it clear what it is. (eg. something like In an interview for The Sunday Telegraph, Charlotte Church described the song as one of her favourite downloads. She described it as ... )

Cover versions

""Kissing You" was covered by Taylor Dayne, whose appears..." - something missing there?
"The video for the song served as the closing clip..." - I think "for the song" is superfluous here
"Knowles was in charge of her own hair styling and make-up, although bronzer was the only make-up she wore." - do we really need this? Seems a little trivial.

Lawsuit

Not sure you need to link lawsuit - up to you
"On 13 February 2007, Knowles sought permission..." - this happened before the event of the previous sentence, so make sure the tense makes sense eg. "On 13 February 2007, Knowles had sought permission"
Regarding Knowles seeking permission... was it actually her? Later on, her father's quote implies that she didn't know anything about it so presumably didn't seek permission in person. The source cited seems to say it was her "team" or her management, so this should be clearer, otherwise we're contradicting what her father claimed to be true.
"...with the altered titled-song." - bit awkward. Perhaps "...with the retitled song."?
"...retracted the proposal to use the song" - perhaps "retracted their permission to use the song"?

References

Look ok for this GA review, but they could be formatted more consistently eg. inclusion of publishers (or not), publishers name in brackets (or not)

The brackets/no brackets are due to the differences between {{cite web}} and {{cite news}} (which can be used with no url). Adabow (talk · contribs) 18:40, 14 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll put this on hold for 7 days to allow you to respond to the points raised above. Let me know if you have any questions. --Beloved Freak 17:50, 14 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much. I believe everything has been addressed. Adabow (talk · contribs) 18:40, 14 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

That was quick! I've removed the seond linking of string instrument in two consecutive sentences. I still think the Charlotte Church bit would be better moved to after the other reviews, but no big deal. Other than that, I can't see anything keeping this from GA status, so I'm happy to list it. Good work! --Beloved Freak 20:59, 14 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]