Talk:Kiss You (One Direction song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Status (talk · contribs) 22:42, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Where is this so-called digital download release?
- I have no idea. I wish I knew :/. Robin (talk) 01:15, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for reviewing. Robin (talk) 01:15, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- No problem! — Statυs (talk, contribs) 02:18, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

References

2 uncategorized redirects
- What does this mean and how can I fix those? Robin (talk) 01:15, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - It means that the URL in the reference redirects to another page on the website. — Statυs (talk, contribs) 02:18, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    - But they don't. That's why thought it was something else.. Robin (talk) 02:20, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Done corrected them. — Statυs (talk, contribs) 02:25, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Thank you. Robin (talk) 17:20, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

I think that boy band is a common enough term that it doesn't need to be linked.

Done Robin (talk) 02:34, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"from second studio album" → Missing word

Done Robin (talk) 02:34, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Written by Kristoffer Fogelmark, Kristian Lundin, Albin Nedler, Savan Kotecha, Shellback and its producers, Carl Falk and Rami Yacoub, "Kiss You" is an upbeat power pop number with electronic effects. The lyrical content regards the protagonist's infatuation with a significant other." → If you're going to combine the sentences (which I personally think should not be done), I think it would be best to match them together, for instance, talking about the lyrical content of the song in the same sentence that mentions its writers, instead of its sound.
- Changed sentences. Robin (talk) 02:34, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Critics considered it a stand-out track on Take Me Home and praised its production." → "Contemporary music critics praised the song's production, calling it a stand-out track on Take Me Home."
- Partly Done. I don't see the point of adding 'Contemporary music' + it unbalances the lead on my computer, one of my major pet peeves :/.
  - Alright by me. — Statυs (talk, contribs) 02:38, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"while attaining top-forty positions in numerous countries" → I think it would be nice to include a few of the said countries.

Done Robin (talk) 02:34, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"designed to showcase the boy band's comedic timing" → What exactly does this mean?
- The director designed the music video to display the boy band's comedic timing. I can't explain it any better. Could you explain what you don't understand?
  - What does "comedic timing" meaning? — Statυs (talk, contribs) 02:17, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    - Comedic timing, the use of rhythm, tempo and pausing to enhance comedy and humour.
      - I suggest linking it; I hadn't heard of that word before. Maybe it's a UK thing. — Statυs (talk, contribs) 02:38, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done Robin (talk) 17:20, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"among others" → Redundant of using the term "such as", it's already said there are others.

Done Robin (talk) 02:34, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Background and release

"helmed"? Why can't we just say produced?
Maybe should mention that Simon is their manager, just in case somebody doesn't know. "reported that Simon Cowell, the group's manager..."
"by November 2012" → Remove this
"and third elsewhere" → "and third international"
Quotes need to be introduced with colons.
"According to a MTV News article, the number was released digitally on 17 November 2012 in the United States" → If this is so, then why is that not its release date?
It seems as if there is confusion about the release of the song, and it's not well put. This section needs some work.
The CD single isn't an Amazon.com exclusive.

Did everything.

Its release history is confusing; It was announced in November as the second official US single; digital downloads would become available on 18 November. I've, unlike with "Live While We're Young, never been available to find this apparent digital download. I think Columbia canceled its official release. In January, Billboard even mentioned that the song's charting was riding on solely on digital downloads from its parent album. Is a MTV News article reliable when it comes to souring a release history? Robin (talk) 21:07, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Composition and lyrics

"which runs for 3:04 (3 minutes, four seconds)." → "which runs for a duration of 3:04 (3 minutes, four seconds)."

Done Robin (talk) 21:11, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Critical reception

No issues with the prose, but I suggest combining this section with the above to create "Composition and reception".

Done Robin (talk) 21:11, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Commercial performance

"in the week" → "on the week"
"issue of" → Odd wording, could just be said as "on [Date]".
Several issues with wording here, for example "on the Australian Singles Chart of 27 January 2013".
- Better? Robin (talk) 21:17, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Music video

"and wanted this clip to be more about showcasing the group's comedic timing" → "For the video, the director wanted it to be more about showcasing the group's comedic timing."
I've rearranged it to something else. Robin (talk) 21:14, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Live performances

"As part of the song's promotion, One Direction performed the song on televised programmes and during their worldwide Take Me Home Tour (2013)." → Too many uses of the word "song" in one sentence.
- Better? Robin (talk) 21:17, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Result

Great work on the article! Everything seems up to snuff! Passing! — Statυs (talk, contribs) 01:20, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.