Talk:Kisaragi Station/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: AlphaBetaGamma (talk · contribs) 03:08, 9 July 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Joeyquism (talk · contribs) 20:36, 12 July 2024 (UTC)

Unfortunately, this is going to have to be a quick fail from me. My reasons are listed below:

• The lead is incredibly short. While this is a rather short article (at 953 words as of this revision), MOS:LEADLENGTH would still suggest around a paragraph; two sentences (including the lead sentence, which does not do much other than introduce the subject) is not enough to fully cover the scope of the entire article.
• As it stands right now, the prose does not exemplify the professional and encyclopedic standard of Wikipedia. A lot of these sentences are confusing and difficult to read, and the grammar could use some copyediting. Some examples:
  • After the unusual activity inside the train...
  • The situation around the area became more creepy as time went by. Bells were ringing from the station, and were making slowly intensifying festival-like drumbeat. Creeped out, Hasumi decided... ("Creepy" and "creeped out" are not of a professional standard. Also, what is "making slowly intensifying festival-like drumbeat"?)
  • However, some people that claimed to have escaped the area, stated that they did a certain thing, such as calling for help by setting up a fireplace to escape. ("Certain thing" is not professional)
  • In 2022, Kisaragi Station, a movie about this legend was released, becoming popular especially in areas close to Hamamatsu.
  • The area around the station in 2019 has large traffic and settlements surrounding it, and doesn't match with the theme of the legend. (What does this mean?)

I would suggest that this be sent to the Guild of Copy Editors or peer review for assistance on how to strengthen this article's prose.

• The article goes into too many tangential details; for instance, why is the Chinese name for the station relevant? Why are there three sentences on how people wrote the name of the station, yet only two sentences in the lead?
• The source titles and author names need to be translated, as they are currently of little use to English-speaking audiences. Use the trans-title parameter for the translated title, and last and first parameters for the Hepburn transliterations of the Japanese authors' names.
  • On the subject of sources, [16] (IMDB) is not acceptable. I also question the usage of [1], [11], [12], [13] (2chan), [7] (gorilife), or any seemingly-self-published blog ([8], [9]).

I'm sorry, but currently this sits too far from complying with the GA criteria according to 1a, 2b, and 3a. I will again recommend going to WP:GOCE or WP:PR to get these issues sorted out. joeyquism (talk) 20:36, 12 July 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.