Talk:Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Truflip99 (talk · contribs) 18:57, 25 May 2020 (UTC)

Will start this soon. --truflip99 (talk) 18:57, 25 May 2020 (UTC)

• A successor to Kingdom Hearts HD 2.5 Remix game compilation -- "to KH HD 2.5 Remix" or "to the KH HD 2.5 Remix game comp"
• Kingdom Hearts χ Back Cover,[a], -- why do you need the comma after the [a] note? (TBH, I don't think you need the provide the Japanese title, that's what the respective article is for)
• Kingdom Hearts 0.2: Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Passage,[b], -- here too?
• protagonists' Sora and Riku's -- omit apos after protagonist I think
• Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance takes place after the events of the game Kingdom Hearts Re:coded. Dream Drop Distance focuses on the protagonists' Sora and Riku's "Mark of Mastery" exam. In order to pass, the pair must free parallel worlds from evil and hone their powers in preparation for the return of the powerful and evil Master Xehanort. -- ref for this synopsis?
• which Nomura stated was indeed a full remake -- omit indeed
• “less offensive than they originally were,” -- comma outside of quotes per MOS:LQ
• game controller scheme -- compound adj hyphen
• wikilink Aqua again in body, first instance
• uses technology such as the Unreal Engine 4 from that game. -- duplicate link; also a bit redundant as you had already mentioned this. All the titles use it. Consolidate this under the Development section?
• This game content, which looked like it bridged the story gap -- which appeared to bridge
• as the name suggests–that story was severed and wasn’t told. -- either spaces around en dash or use an em dash
• In the credits of the game compilation Kingdom Hearts HD 2.5 Remix, there were clips of the game Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance. There was also a secret ending related to Dream Drop Distance, hinting at a possible new Kingdom Hearts game compilation. -- I would copy edit to: The credits of the game compilation... include clips of the game... and a secret ending related...
• Nomura stated in that same September -- Nomura stated that Square Enix...*
• "sooner than later." -- MOS:LQ
• The developer also intended to release the collection on the PlayStation 4. -- this could be merged with the first sentence of the paragraph
• Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance is considered "number 2.6" -- this is the only one in quotes. make uniform?
• The χ games, with the absence of Sora, are considered 0, while Birth by Sleep is 0.1, thus resulting in 0.2 for A Fragmentary Passage. -- this doesn't make sense to me

More in a bit. --truflip99 (talk) 17:32, 26 May 2020 (UTC)

Here’s what I did so far. I made most of the corrections, a few things came up. The Japanese title for two of the three titles are here because they don’t exist anywhere else. Kingdom Hearts X is the article the game comes from, but this is basically a film created out of that game. And ‘’A Fragmentary Passage’’ is a new game, so it has a Japanese title too. Also, I tried to rewrite Nomura’s crazy numbering system, not sure if it makes more sense but take a look. Lastly, I thought we shouldn’t have citations if at all possible in the introduction, but do you want one anyway for the plot summary? Thanks. Judgesurreal777 (talk) 00:32, 27 May 2020 (UTC)

Alright, then just omit the commas after the [a][b] notes as they don't need to be there. The citations shouldn't be in the lead, so since the plot summary is in the body it should be fine (and necessary).

Continuing:

• The Kingdom Hearts χ games, because the series protagonist Sora does not appear, are considered 0 in Nomuras counting system, while Birth by Sleep is 0.1, thus resulting in a 0.2 value for A Fragmentary Passage. -- just copy edit this to: The Kingdom Hearts χ games are considered 0 in Nomuras counting system because the series protagonist Sora does not appear. Birth by Sleep is 0.1, thus resulting in a 0.2 value for A Fragmentary Passage.
• and the games opening cinematics. -- games'*
• Square Enix completed development on Kingdom Hearts III. -- of*
• US Gamer referred to the games conversion from one optimized for a two-screen portable game system to a console one "lovely." -- games'* ; as* "lovely". (note period outside quotes)
• Game Informer was also very impressed -- omit very (slight puffery)
• such as populating the games "overly roomy, empty worlds." -- games'* ; MOS:LQ
• US Gamer also praised the title A Fragmentary Passage for being a sort of tech demo of Kingdom Hearts III. -- dup link
• Critics had very mixed feelings -- omit very
• Jonathan Dornbush of IGN said that the collection is "A great glimpse at what’s to come, but the return to the past is an at-times unsatisfying appetizer." -- lower case 'A' and period outside quotes MOS:LQ
• said that "Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8: Final Chapter Prologue is essential for the faithful, flummoxing for newcomers, and a promising start to the series’ life on PS4." -- saying* that...; MOS:LQ
• "A solid game that definitely has an audience. Might lack replay value, could be too short and there are some hard-to-ignore faults, but the experience is fun." -- lc 'A'; MOS:LQ
• Some reviewers did find things to praise about the collection, such as Push Square, -- Some reviewers such as Push Square*...
• "devilishly fun." -- MOS:LQ
• "good preparation for what’s ahead." -- MOS:LQ
• "hard-to-follow gibberish with flashbacks, flashbacks within flashbacks." -- MOS:LQ
• before the release of the at the time unreleased Kingdom Hearts III. -- dup link

More later. --truflip99 (talk) 17:30, 28 May 2020 (UTC)

@Truflip99: I believe I fixed this wave as well, should be no issues with these. Judgesurreal777 (talk) 20:16, 28 May 2020 (UTC)

• Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance takes place after the events of the game Kingdom Hearts Re:coded. Dream Drop Distance focuses on the protagonists' Sora and Rikus "Mark of Mastery" exam. In order to pass, the pair must free parallel worlds from evil and hone their powers in preparation for the return of the powerful and evil Master Xehanort. -- just need a ref for this and I'd be happy to make this GA. --truflip99 (talk) 03:46, 29 May 2020 (UTC)

@Truflip99: Ok, I think it’s all set! Judgesurreal777 (talk) 04:04, 29 May 2020 (UTC)