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Talk:Kill the DJ/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Wikipedian Penguin (talk · contribs) 13:24, 1 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I will be reviewing this article. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 13:24, 1 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Spotcheck and sources
  • Needs citation: "'Kill the DJ' was based on 'static and noise' and it was an 'imagery of waterboarding and torture straight into the dance club'."
    • Already done - and covered in the article body, in "Theme and composition" (ref 12)
    Quotations should always be cited, even if in the lead. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 17:56, 2 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    Done
  • Ref 4a is a shaky source to use for the announcement of their second single off the album. It doesn't say anything about the single and we can't assume that just because we have artwork means that the song will be a single.
    • Done
  • Ref 5a doesn't say which of songs are from which album.
    • Done
  • "Talking about the style of the song, the band stated that, 'We were trying to figure out how to make dance music without turning into a dance band'." – period should be inside quotation per source.
    • Done
  • Period goes inside quotation: "Stereo Board, talking about various songs from ¡Uno! ¡Dos! and ¡Tre!, stated about 'Kill the DJ' that, 'The other single 'Kill the DJ' is catchy but feels like it has a darker meaning hidden beneath it'."
    • Done
  • What makes Stereoboard a reliable source?
    • Done - removed
  • The same with Todd Marten's quotation in the Theme and composition section.
    • Done
  • "... which was similar to the artwork of 'Oh Love'" – that's a personal interpretation and needs better sourcing with direct comparison.
    • Done
  • I'll let this pass for GA, but if you were to take this article to FAC, ref 4 would be unacceptable for the artwork discussion in-depth.
More to come. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 12:41, 2 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The band announced via Twitter that they would be releasing a video for the song soon and posted a link to the teaser video of the song posted on Warner Records' official YouTube channel on August 29, 2012." – unsourced.
    • Done
  • References need cleaning up. They don't have to be perfectly consistent, but they're also too inconsistent for a good article. There are also typos, such as in the retrieval date in ref 7.
  • What makes cinema blend and musicfeeds reliable sources?
  • Improper sourcing for "The cover art follows the style of those of ¡Uno!, ¡Dos!, and ¡Tré!" and "similar style of artwork had been used in ¡Uno!, ¡Dos!, and ¡Tré!." This is personal interpretation.
  • "which shows contrast": when you're discussing contrast, that's analysis, not description. That needs to be scited to a professional, detailed source.

Prose

  • Information is repeated. We are told twice that the band posted the artwork on their site. We're also told twice that the video was previewed and subsequently released. Both in Background and the respective sections of the two subtopics.
  • Article is a WP:QUOTEFARM. The theme and composition section as well as the critical reception section are too reliant on quotations. We'll need thorough paraphrasing here. Write some in your own words.
  • After rereading, this doesn't seem relevant – sorry. "Along with "Kill the DJ", the band also played "Nuclear Family" and "Wild One from the albums ¡Uno![8] and ¡Dos![9] respectively."
  • Awkward "event of violence": "... while an event of violence bursts out between two girls and bottles get broken, attacks on necks, punches and fight occurs."
  • Needs work overall. There are many rough patches here and there that need to be tightened and tweaked. For example, not sure what "shades of blue and black stripes" means.
  • Minor detail: "Between scenes of violence and partying, Green Day is featured playing in an empty club."

Media

  • The music sample caption is not sourced anywhere in the article apart from the fact that it has dance-punk music.
  • Mike Dirnt's image is not relevant enough to be worth embedding into this article.

Final assessment: On hold Failed

The article needs work. I've tried my best to copy edit, [1] but I'm afraid it isn't my job to be correcting simple grammatical errors, which I have been doing. I understand English is not your primary language (not mine either), so let's see if you can turn this article around. I want you to prove me wrong that this article is not worthy of GA. You've got 7 days. Feel free to request more time. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 00:27, 5 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I see there is a copy edit underway? I'll wait for an update once it's finished. —WP:PENGUIN · [ TALK ] 12:52, 13 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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