Talk:Khun Borom

This article is within the scope of WikiProject Biography, a collaborative effort to create, develop and organize Wikipedia's articles about people. All interested editors are invited to join the project and contribute to the discussion. For instructions on how to use this banner, please refer to the documentation.BiographyWikipedia:WikiProject BiographyTemplate:WikiProject Biographybiography articles

Southeast Asia: Laos

	This article is within the scope of WikiProject Southeast Asia, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of Southeast Asia-related subjects on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Southeast AsiaWikipedia:WikiProject Southeast AsiaTemplate:WikiProject Southeast AsiaSoutheast Asia articles
???	This article has not yet received a rating on the project's importance scale.
	This article is supported by WikiProject Laos.

Thailand Mid‑importance

	Thailand portal This article is within the scope of WikiProject Thailand, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of Thailand-related articles on Wikipedia. The WikiProject is also a part of the Counteracting systematic bias group aiming to provide a wider and more detailed coverage on countries and areas of the encyclopedia which are notably less developed than the rest. If you would like to help improve this and other Thailand-related articles, please join the project. All interested editors are welcome.ThailandWikipedia:WikiProject ThailandTemplate:WikiProject ThailandThailand articles
Mid	This article has been rated as Mid-importance on the project's importance scale.

Removed commentary paragraph

I just removed the following paragraph from this article:

I think David K. Wyatt maybe mistaken, what was found in Xieng Khuang in 698. What he is talking about is not the story of Khun borom creating the world, but the epic story of "Thao hoong Thao juang." The Thao Hoong Thao Juang is a khmer warrior king from Yonok country (northern thailand). The khmer also know him as Pra huang. The oral story was passed on by people and then rewritten in Northern thailand(Lanna) around 1200 AD and then came to northern laos. In 698 there were no lao kingdom in Xieng khuang. If there were a lao ruler then that ruler was under the khmer power or under the viet. During that time the khmer kingdom reach all the way up to northern thailand. Khun juang of yonok country was at war with Dai viet Kingdom fighting for Xieng khuang. Xieng khuang (Puan country) was at that time apart of the vietnamese kingdom. It was not until Piloko(Khun Borom) came in power that the Viet ask Kon Borom for help. Piloko then sent his son Kolofung (Khun Lor) to war with the legendary khun juang(pra huang). Khun Lor killed khun Juang in battle, this was the turning point for the AiLao state of Nanchao and the AiLao people in Muang Then (Dien Bien Phu). Kolofeng then came and took Muang Swa(Loungprabang) from the khmer, causing the khmer to regroup south in Nandaburi(Muang Nan thailand) and Chantaburi(vientiane Laos). The story of khun borom creating the world cannot be created in 698 in Xieng khuang because Xieng khuang was Viet territory at the time.

This implies conclusion by the editor, which may constitute original research and is unencyclopedic. If this comes from a publication and represents a viewpoint by historians, it should be rewritten prior to its inclusion and properly cited as to show at least some expert consensus and to keep it NPOV. Notary137 21:51, 29 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Proper use of parenthesis and separators

The employment of parenthesis in the paragraph under "Scholarship" does not help the general public in delineation/segregation of individual items of the list. The paragraph is:

"Khun Lor" ruled Moung Sawa (Sua), (LuangPhrabang, Laos) "Khun Palanh" ruled SipsongPanna, (China) "Khun Chusong" ruled TungKea, (Muang HuaoPhanh to Tonkin, Vietnam) "Khun Saiphong" ruled Lanna, (ChiengMai, Thailand) "Khun Ngua In" ruled Ayuthaya, (Thailand) "Khun Lok khom" ruled Moung Hongsa (Inthaputh), (Shan state, Burma) "Khun ChetCheang" ruled Moung Phuan, (XiengKhouang, Laos)

Does the paragraph mean case A:

"Khun Lor" ruled Moung Sawa (Sua), (LuangPhrabang, Laos) "Khun Palanh" ruled SipsongPanna,

(China) "Khun Chusong" ruled TungKea,

(Muang HuaoPhanh to Tonkin, Vietnam) "Khun Saiphong" ruled Lanna,

(ChiengMai, Thailand) "Khun Ngua In" ruled Ayuthaya,

(Thailand) "Khun Lok khom" ruled Moung Hongsa (Inthaputh),

(Shan state, Burma) "Khun ChetCheang" ruled Moung Phuan,

(XiengKhouang, Laos)

Or, does it mean case B:

"Khun Lor" ruled Moung Sawa (Sua), (LuangPhrabang, Laos)

"Khun Palanh" ruled SipsongPanna, (China)

"Khun Chusong" ruled TungKea, (Muang HuaoPhanh to Tonkin, Vietnam)

"Khun Saiphong" ruled Lanna, (ChiengMai, Thailand)

"Khun Ngua In" ruled Ayuthaya, (Thailand)

"Khun Lok khom" ruled Moung Hongsa (Inthaputh), (Shan state, Burma)

"Khun ChetCheang" ruled Moung Phuan, (XiengKhouang, Laos) ?

It seems to be case B. Therefore the paragraph should be rewritten to employ commonly comprehended use of parenthesis and separators in the following manner:

"Khun Lor" ruled Moung Sawa (Sua), (LuangPhrabang, Laos); "Khun Palanh" ruled SipsongPanna, (China); "Khun Chusong" ruled TungKea, (Muang HuaoPhanh to Tonkin, Vietnam); "Khun Saiphong" ruled Lanna, (ChiengMai, Thailand); "Khun Ngua In" ruled Ayuthaya, (Thailand); "Khun Lok khom" ruled Moung Hongsa (Inthaputh), (Shan state, Burma); "Khun ChetCheang" ruled Moung Phuan, (XiengKhouang, Laos).

Alternatively, as an itemised list:

"Khun Lor" ruled Moung Sawa (Sua), (LuangPhrabang, Laos)
"Khun Palanh" ruled SipsongPanna, (China)
"Khun Chusong" ruled TungKea, (Muang HuaoPhanh to Tonkin, Vietnam)
"Khun Saiphong" ruled Lanna, (ChiengMai, Thailand)
"Khun Ngua In" ruled Ayuthaya, (Thailand)
"Khun Lok khom" ruled Moung Hongsa (Inthaputh), (Shan state, Burma)
"Khun ChetCheang" ruled Moung Phuan, (XiengKhouang, Laos) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Hence Jewish Anderstein (talk • contribs) 18:49, 16 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]