Talk:Khosrow Mirza/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Figureskatingfan (talk · contribs) 20:42, 5 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I will be reviewing this article for the June Backlog Drive. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 20:42, 5 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
See below; I have some issues with the prose.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
See below.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Images all look good; all in public domain.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
I have major issues with the references; please see below.

Prose:

Regarding the two subsections, "The trip" and "The travelogue": It isn't customary to use articles in the title of sections, but I think in this case, a case could be made for keeping them. If you were to take this bio further and submit it to FAC, though, you'd have to defend it. If you were to change the titles, I suggest "Russian trip" or "Trip to Russia" and "Travelogue" or "Mirza's travelogue".

I see that you've gotten some assistance with the prose before; I suggest that you do it again. The verb tenses are often inaccurate; for example, in the "Early life" section: According to Ekhtiar, Abbas Mirza deliberately send Khosrow Mirza to test his diplomatic abilities and after the talks, he was made diplomatic secretary. There are other instances, so please go through the article for them.

Also, I think that some of your paragraphs are too short. The easy way to remedy this is to simply combine them, but make sure you have adequate transitions. For example, you could combine the 1st and 2nd paragraphs and 3rd and 4th paragraphs in the "Early life" section.

References:

I have major issues with the references in this article. Many of your sources are inaccessible, so I'm AGF that they're used correctly and that they support your claims. However, I did a quick check of the 2015 Bournoutian source (ref16), which are supposed to support the Griboyedov incident, but he's not even mentioned in it. "The Russian Ark" is also not mentioned in the source. Did you mislabel them or am I missing something? Either way, I cannot pass this article until this is resolved.

With the issues above, this bio in its current version doesn't fit the GA criteria. If they're not easily resolveable, I suggest that you remove it from the queue (or okay that I fail it again) to give you the time to work on them and then try again later. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 19:09, 6 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Unfortunately, I'm a little busy to work on the article, at the moment and for the following weeks. I'd suggest failing it for now, so that I could return and do a rewrite later. Thanks. Amir Ghandi (talk) 12:24, 7 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Amir Ghandi:, okay no problem, will do, regretfully. Let me know how I can assist once you decide to pick it up again. Best, Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 02:21, 8 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]