Talk:Kenshi (Mortal Kombat)/GA1

GA Review

Unsuccessful. Kung Fu Man (talk) 02:46, 26 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: HopalongCasualty (talk · contribs) 22:31, 22 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Kung Fu Man (talk · contribs) 09:32, 23 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I'm Kung Fu Man and I'll be your reviewer this evening.

So one major thing I'm going to lead with above all else, is that there are some major issues with the appearances section. One being that you want to try and avoid extremely short paragraphs, especially short paragraphs. Secondary sources are also recommended over citing the game itself; where you can't, you should utilize quotes from the game if possible to help isolate moments in the game. Keep in mind for sections like this sources like Valnet often give blow by blows of character stories and can be good material for this sort of thing, as can any books that examine the series or reviews that talk about the games and mention story moments.

The last problem with appearances though is a bit harder to fix: it's written very in-universe. The average reader isn't going to know what "Earthrealm" or similar terms are, who Jax and Sonya are, and so forth. Consider when you're writing this that your reader may have absolutely no idea who any of these characters or elements are, and the simpler you can help them follow along the better. If you can avoid mentioning character names for say mentioning an organization with a brief description or just simplifying text, that can help. Lastly, try to avoid terms that can come across as violating WP:NPOV: even if colorful, describing Shang Tsung as "nefarious" for example kinda comes across as such. When it doubt, keep it simple.

I'll wait for your response and to see what you can do with this before proceeding with the review.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 09:32, 23 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Kung Fu Man Thanks for the quick reply. Interesting about the short paragraphs and quotes, because a couple months back an editor went hacking the MK character appearance sections to smithereens in the name of eliminating what they deemed "unnecessary extraneous material". I actually thought they were right to an extent, but then they were being a complete butt about it. (They've since been blocked for sockpuppetry.)

I've removed "Earthrealm" and "nefarious" (can't help, it, I love my big words :)), with Jax and Sonya being replaced with "Special Forces" as a descriptor to get started. Your input is of course very much welcomed. 💥Casualty ^{• Hop along. •} 17:13, 23 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

HopalongCasualty I'll start looking over the rest here in a bit, but yeah when you cite content from a game it should be the last ditch and definitely a case of quoting it, I don't know why anyone would tell you that's "extraneous", it's literally how we confirm what's being discussed if no secondary source exists.

Some of the other bits of the article are in an odd state too sadly: the dev into feels weirdly sparse, but veers into gameplay and gameplay reception mingled in. Gameplay sections are good for a fighting game character, but consider them in the context of explaining them to a reader how a character would move and play if they saw them on their own, and that reception bits regarding them should usually be kept to the reception section unless you can attach it to a long-term reaction across multiple titles (i.e. "The character has been often stated as difficult to master across the Mortal Kombat series." using a ref but without stating "According to so and so of so and so" to help the reader grasp it's a generalized long term reaction). I will admit this will probably need a good bit of work.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 10:05, 24 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Kung Fu Man After going over your comments, I'll withdraw my nomination for now. This has been quite the reality check that there's far more work awaiting than I'd expected with available MK character information being so damn sparse (why is it only Valnet that seems to care about them?), and coupled with ongoing personal issues, I can't concentrate on it right now to have it completed on time. As a side note, I'm glad for your take on the "extraneous content" issue, which will allow me in the future to re-edit other related articles accordingly. Thank you for your time, KFM. 💥Casualty ^{• Hop along. •} 02:06, 26 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

HopalongCasualty Alright. For what it's worth I do think this one has a bit more potential with the work you've put in, MK characters are sadly a hard lot to deal with.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 02:45, 26 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.