Talk:Kellee Santiago/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 03:46, 25 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 03:46, 25 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the issues I found:

"and intended to pursue it after beginning a a master's degree" change beginning to earning and remove the second a
"which she describes as "simple, but so effective and so evocative" in instilling emotion in the player" since there's a quote, sentence should have a cite.
"where she played video games from a young age and was encouraged by her software engineer to experiment with computers" note that her father is a software engineer. it makes sense in the body, but in the lead it just sounds like she was randomly living with a software engineer at some point.
"In addition to her role as president of he company," the company

I'll put the article on hold and will pass it when the issues are fixed. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 04:22, 25 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

All fixed. Perhaps that "father" morphed into an "a" and wandered over several sentences? --Pres N 04:59, 25 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Somethin must be in the water, every article i'm reviewing tonight is getting fixed nearly instantly. :) Everything looks good now, so I'll pass the article. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 05:27, 25 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]