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Talk:Karima Baloch/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Z1720 (talk · contribs) 01:36, 5 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]


Hi, I will be reviewing this article in the coming days. Please ping me when you make a response to ensure I see your comments and questions. Thanks! Z1720 (talk) 01:36, 5 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Comments:

Thanks for submitting this article for GAN. I have put the article on hold because of some concerns that I have, listed below:

  • The lede needs an expansion. The lede should be a summary of the overall article and include all major aspects. It surprises me that her death and subsequent investigation are not mentioned in the lede.
  • The article needs information about her early life, including her birth and growing up. The info in the "Personal life" section might be merged with an "Early life" section
  • I am confused over what she was an activist for because I am unfamiliar with the situation in Balochistan. Please expand upon her political ideology and explain what her goals were. This might require a very brief background of the situation in Balochistan.
  • "over forced disappearances in the Pakistani province of Balochistan, where she carried a picture" Replace "when she" with "and"
  • The 2014 interview quote doesn't explain her activism and is off-topic.
  • "she raised issues related to" Can you be more specific? Did she speak to the council? Did she write a report?
  • "mentioned Pakistan’s "occupation" of Balochistan." Per MOS:SCAREQUOTES Wikipedia avoids putting controversial words in scare quotes. Try to describe the situation neutrally or express that she calls Pakistan's actions an occupation.
  • "Baloch was last seen alive on 20 December 2020." Can this be expanded? Who saw her alive? What was the situation?
  • Reference 9: The title/author should not be in all caps.

Let me know if you have any questions. Z1720 (talk) 02:05, 5 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The nominator has not responded to this review after multiple talk page notices, so I consider this GAN abandoned. They may nominate the article again when the above issues have been addressed. Z1720 (talk) 15:08, 12 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]