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Talk:Kahlil Gibran/GA1

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Reviewer: Alanna the Brave (talk · contribs) 13:58, 3 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Hello! I'll be completing my review of this article over the next several days -- comments coming soon. Alanna the Brave (talk) 13:58, 3 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! I'm looking forward to reading your comments. Gibranist (talk) 19:15, 3 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

All right – this has been an interesting read, and from the article's history I can see you've been making lots of improvements over the past few months. I've fixed a few grammar issues/awkwardly-phrased sentences, but for the most part the prose is good quality. The article is illustrated with lots of relevant images, its coverage is fairly broad, and it also seems stable (no editing wars). However, this article still has a number of issues that need to be addressed before it meets all GA criteria. These issues involve uncited content (particularly in "Memorials and honors"), an inconsistent citation style (some short form, some not), incomplete citation information, and some unclear image licensing information. There are also areas of text that need clarification or expansion. I think it will take time to address all these items, so I've made the decision to fail this GA nomination – but once these issues have been tackled, I encourage you to re-nominate the article, as it should have a much better chance of passing a GA review at that point. I've listed my detailed comments below, and I hope they're helpful; if you want me to clarify anything, please let me know! Alanna the Brave (talk) 19:14, 7 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Childhood

  • You say Kahlil Gibran (KG) had "no formal schooling" for his first 12 years, but you also say he entered a one-class school around the age of five. Does this not count as formal schooling? Please clarify.
    I'm not sure what the source meant by "formal", so I've put it inside a note with attribution:

    Gibran's family lived in poverty. In 1888, Gibran entered Bsharri's one-class school, which was run by a priest, and there he learnt the rudiments of Arabic, Syriac, and arithmetic. (Note: According to Kahlil and Jean Gibran, this did not count as "formal" schooling.)

    Gibranist (talk) 16:56, 14 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Are there any more details on KG's father's embezzlement charges? What happened to him after the rest of the family moved to the United States? He seems to disappear from the narrative.
  • Is there any more detail on Peabody? You say she left KG "without explanation", but the significance of this is unclear, since she hasn't been mentioned since her first meeting with KG.
  • The photo of the Gibran family needs a clearer indication of its source. Right now, it just says "Taken from a book entitled Gibran", which is pretty vague. It should also include a licensing tag explaining why it meets Public Domain requirements in the US (all PD images need a tag for their country of origin and a tag for the US).
  • The photo of the Collège de la Sagesse also needs a US Public Domain tag.

Debuts, Mary Haskell, and the second stay in Paris

  • Can you clarify KG's relationship with Michelene? First you say they became "close friends", but suddenly in 1908 she seems to be his lover (or ex-lover).
  • Was Spirits Rebellious published in Arabic or English?
    I've added in Arabic. Gibranist (talk) 16:56, 14 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Can you expand/explain KG's political views here? What were the Syrian political dissidents doing, and why did KG get involved? A quick explanation of historical context will help readers better understand what's going on. You'll also need to clarify the somewhat cryptic "angry young man" and "prophet" quote from Waterfield (interesting, but what does it actually mean?).
  • The final line states that "an emnity settled" between KG and Rihani. Please clarify: did the emnity begin at this time, or was it "settled" (resolved)?
    It began at that time so I've replaced settled with that began. Gibranist (talk) 16:56, 14 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Return to the United States and growing reputation

  • Broken Wings could use a quick one-line summary/description.
  • The photo of May Ziadeh needs a clarification of its source and copyright status. Right now, it gives a link to a Google Doodle article about Ziadeh, but the article does not say where it obtained the image, and it doesn't state that the photo is actually in the Public Domain. The date and author of the photo are also unclear.

The Madman, the Pen League, and the Prophet

  • For a publication that seems considered quite significant, The Prophet gets very little discussion here (only one tiny paragraph). How was it received at the time? What were KG's personal views on the book? Did he have any idea it would become as popular as it did? I think some expansion is warranted here.
  • At a reading of The Prophet, "Gibran met Young". Is this Barbara Young (mentioned much earlier in article), or a different person? Please clarify.
    I've added poetess Barbara. Gibranist (talk) 16:56, 14 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The photo of the member of the Pen League needs clarification of its source and copyright status. Right now, it gives a link to an academic dissertation written about KG, but there is no clear indication that the image is public domain and free for use (the dissertation credits the image to R. Waterfield's biography).

Later years and death

  • That quote about Young and Haskell finding KG's love letters raises some questions. Why did Young beg Haskell to burn them? Did Young have a relationship to KG (or a certain perception of him) that influenced her reaction to those letters?
  • The photo of KG needs clarification of its origin and copyright status. Right now, it links to a blogspot version of the photograph, but a reverse Google search suggests that this image may belong to the Gibran Museum.

Writings

  • The sections on writing forms and literary influence would benefit from more summary/paraphrase and less direct quotation.
  • The critics section is quote small and needs expansion. What were the main positive and negative critiques of his work? You say KG was neglected by critics "for a long time", but what about now? And was the neglect really that universal, or did some contemporary critics also take note of KG's work?
  • The photo of Francis Marrash needs clarification of its source and copyright status. The image includes a US Public Domain tag, but it links back to a source that says the image comes from an Egyptian publication, which could mean it needs an additional Egyptian copyright status tag.

Visual arts

  • The gallery of paintings/drawings immediately followed by article text seems like an awkward arrangement. I would recommend separating the images and text, possibly by placing the gallery in its own subsection or reversing the order of items (text, immediately followed by the gallery).
    I've inverted the order of items with Overview and Gallery subsections. Gibranist (talk) 16:56, 14 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Religious views

  • This section could use a stronger conclusion to help tie together KG's final religious beliefs. You say that he refused last rites, so he must have had some strong views at the end of his life. Also, how did KG's religious beliefs influence his written works?

Political thought

  • This section should not begin with a direct quotation – you should start the paragraph by summarizing the main point of the paragraph.
  • The single line about socialism seems lonely here. Can it be expanded or merged with another paragraph?

Memorials and honors

Legacy

  • This section seems to focus primarily on KG's influence on Western musicians, which leaves me wondering what other influence his works may have had. What about influence on writers, visual artists, or politicians? And what about in wider non-Western culture?

References section I have a few general notes about the references:

  • Most content is cited, but there are still a number of unsourced sentences/paragraphs, and I uncovered more unsourced content in the middle of a paragraph when I did some reorganizing of prose (you've already taken care of that one). I would recommend doing another slow pass through the article to try to catch any hidden unsourced info like this.
  • Although much of this article uses short form "harvard style" citations that link back to complete bibliographic entries under "Sources", a number of web and news sources are not cited in this short form style. For example: citation 13 "Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet: Why is it so loved", and citation 48 "Kates, Ariel. 'Kahlil Gibran: An Immigrant Artist on 10th Street'". You should integrate sources like these into the short form style, to make the system of referencing more consistent.
  • Some citations are missing important information such as the author name, date, or publisher. For example: "Contemporary Arabic Readers" and "The Arab World".
  • Throughout this article, I noticed that a number of direct quotations from R. Waterfield's book only cite a chapter, not a page number. You'll need to ensure all quotes from books are cited with page numbers.
Note. The nominator has been checkuser blocked indefinitely. Dreamy Jazz talk to me | my contributions 12:29, 21 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
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