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GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Vaticidalprophet (talk · contribs) 18:37, 28 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Grabbing both of these two, will aim to start an actual review sometime around when the current one wraps up. Vaticidalprophet 18:37, 28 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I'll start on KVIE now, because there's a little more I want to check about KIKU. I've already looked through this a couple of times and don't expect to have much to say.

  • The next year, the first interest was expressed in the educational channel by a consortium of school officials in 15 Northern California counties. In 1955, it merged with a similar group in the Stockton area, the Delta-Sierra Educational Television Corporation. I am unsold on this phrasing. "the first interest was expressed in the educational channel" is hard to follow, as is the reference to "it" in the second. Checking the source, there's some verification issues; "Superior California" is not exactly synonymous with "northern California" but refers a little more specifically to a sort of northern-by-central-eastern region (the exact counties are named in cite 5). It also looks to me like the two organizations worked together for some time before formally merging.
  • We jump a bit from 1955 to 1958. Is it necessary to give the dates so precisely? Currently the second paragraph doesn't actually make it obvious that the bid was accepted, given that jump.
  • I'm not seeing the "6 + education" in cite 1 on the callsign meaning. We can confirm the acronym and that VI is 6 in Roman numerals (may be worth mentioning that explicitly), but not "VI for six + E for education".
  • to the North State?
  • Could we give some context on Caryl Chessman? The source also draws attention to them airing press conferences and legislative hearings in full, and in them being presumably an early example of it (I understand it might be difficult to verify exactly how early/in what context that "first" claim is being made).
  • Prop 13 could use markedly more context. The source is pretty apocalyptic about it, which the article doesn't fully express.
  • There are some long sentences (e.g. KVIE supporter organization Friends of Six, in a unique attempt to help raise funds for the station, opened At Six, a restaurant in the Sierra 2 performing arts center; the cafe lasted a year, beset by management turnover and poor advertising, and its closure left the station out $35,000 in money it gave for setup costs) which could use splitting.
  • Is this Rob Stewart any of the ones with articles? If not, could some context be given as to who he is?

Vaticidalprophet 08:12, 6 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Vaticidalprophet Made changes appropriately to add context or tweak. Sammi Brie (she/her • tc) 04:16, 7 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.