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Talk:Königsberg-class cruiser (1927)/GA1

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Reviewer: Dank (talk · contribs) 21:22, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Starting now. - Dank (push to talk) 21:22, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Toolbox reports that there's a link to Königsberg class cruiser (1927) (without the hyphen), but the only one I can find is the link to Category:Königsberg class cruisers (1927). - Dank (push to talk) 21:35, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Otherwise, toolbox checks out.
  • "The Königsberg class was ... their": singular "was", plural "their" (Since "They" follows, probably go plural with the whole thing ... The Königsberg-class ships were ...)
      • I went with "These ships were the first of the Reichsmarine with a modern cruiser design; their predecessor ..." - Dank (push to talk)
  • "their predecessor, Emden": their predecessor, Emden,
    • Fixed.
  • "with a main battery of nine 15 cm (5.9 in) guns and twelve 50 cm (20 in) torpedo tubes": with a main battery of nine 15 cm (5.9 in) guns and with twelve 50 cm (20 in) torpedo tubes (so people won't think the torpedoes were in the main battery)
    • Sounds fine to me.
  • "used in experiments with using": repetition
    • Should read better now.
  • "were very crank": The wiktionary page you're linking to has a noun with that meaning, but not an adjective. It's not in M-W.
    • It's in the wrong section - you wouldn't say "the ship is a crank", you'd say "the ship is crank(y)". See for instance dictionary.com, which has it as an adjective. And it is in the online Mirriam-Webster (here, it's the 5th entry), also as an adjective. I'll be correcting the Wiktionary entry accordingly. Parsecboy (talk) 14:05, 27 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "but these were replaced later": replaced later
    • Done.
  • "Throughout the course of their careers, the ships' anti-aircraft batteries were repeatedly revised and improved.": Either drop the introductory phrase, or if you want to emphasize when they were revised, be more specific about that.
    • I was trying to make clear that they weren't just modified once and were done, that it was a continual process. I feel like cutting the phrase leaves the reader saying "when?"
      • I went with "The ships' anti-aircraft batteries were revised and improved throughout the course of their careers."; does that work? - Dank (push to talk)
  • "on either ends": on either end
    • Fixed.
  • I'm not sure what you can do about this, but the Armor section repeats the word "thick", like, a lot.
    • I just cut them out in most places, and there shouldn't be any loss of meaning.
  • Otherwise:
  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:  Yes
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:  Yes
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. Has an appropriate reference section:  Yes
    B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:  Yes
    C. No original research:  Yes
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:  Yes
    B. Focused:  Yes
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:  Yes
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:  Yes
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:  Yes. Images are good.
    B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:  Yes
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail: On hold pending resolution of my initial comments. - Dank (push to talk) 23:15, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    Thanks for reviewing the article, Dan, I appreciate your copy-editing advice as always. Parsecboy (talk) 14:32, 27 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    My pleasure. Pass. - Dank (push to talk) 18:34, 27 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]