Talk:Juwan Howard/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 19:26, 16 August 2010 (UTC)

Due to the size of the article and a lack of time on my end over the next couple days, I will split this review into sections.

Lead/High school

• "Howard would later be drafted well ahead of Thomas in the 1994 draft" reword to note he was drafted a full round ahead; more exact figure that says the same thing.
  • O.K.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:34, 21 August 2010 (UTC)
• "He was selected to the Chicago Sun-Times All-Area team and the Class-AA All-State team.[16][17] He established himself as the top Chicago area junior ahead of Kleinschmidt." can be combined in one sentence; helps to get rid of consecutive "he"s to start off a sentence too.
  • O.K.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:37, 21 August 2010 (UTC)
• "He had subpar performance against.." a subpar
  • Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:35, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
• "In late April, Howard was informed that he had passed his ACT test, which made him eligible under Proposition 48 academic requirements to play as a freshman. Only eight of the top 25 Public League players passed." the ACT isn't a pass/fail test, so could this be clearer?
  • I apologize if it seems that I am ignoring your review. I am trying to finish up a project. My goal is to get my sandbox of articles cleaned up and into userspace by this weekend. This review is on the back burner.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 03:01, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
    • It's alright, gives me time to do the last section of it. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 13:18, 22 August 2010 (UTC)

• Noting I found a ref with his actual ACT score if you'd like it to further clarify things. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 04:00, 29 August 2010 (UTC)

College

• "In November 2003, Mitch Albom released his book Fab Five: Basketball, trash talk, the American Dream chronicling the recruiting of and first two years of play of the Fab Five" anything notable from the book to add in here? The insertion of this seems jarring and out of place, and is probably not needed, though interesting.
• "Howard earned the regional MVP award with a game-high 30 points and 13 rebounds despite collecting 2 fouls in the first 2 minutes in the Elite Eight round" numbers under 10 should be written out.
  • Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:32, 24 August 2010 (UTC)

Washington

• "Howard's hometown Bulls' second game of the season was as host to the Bullets who did not sign Howard right away." feels trivial, could probably be removed.
• "In the offseason, the Bullets traded Chapman, MacLean and Duckworth.[107][108][109] They drafted Rasheed Wallace." sentences can be combined.
  • fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:33, 24 August 2010 (UTC)
• "Nonetheless, 1995–96 was Howard's best season. During the season, he finished 3rd in the NBA in minutes played, 6th in points scored and 10th in points per game (22.1)." not the best use of the word 'nonetheless', a different word can be used, and those sentences can be combined.
  • Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:36, 24 August 2010 (UTC)
• "Averaging 22.1 points, 8.1 rebounds and 4.4 assists, he was named to the All-Star team for the only time in his career." you mention the only all-star appearance already, making this redundant; reword.
  • Got it.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 00:42, 27 August 2010 (UTC)
• "The league ruled on August 5, that the Bullets could resign Howard after having renounced his rights on July 15 to free up cap room to sign Tracy Murray and Lorenzo Williams if they forfeited their 1997 NBA Draft first-round selection rights." this should come before noting that he signed then, plus the first comma isn't needed.
• "The contract made Howard the first NBA player to sign a $100 million contract." mention this earlier, so not needed.
  • Fixed this earlier.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 00:02, 28 August 2010 (UTC)--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 00:02, 28 August 2010 (UTC)

Post-Washington

• Reiterating that in most cases, number under 10 are spelled out. I fixed these myself where it was needed, but left the final few paragraphs of 07-present unfinished.
• "2004–05 season he accumulated 7 double doubles, 0 30-point performances and 0 15-rebound performances in 61 games (47 starts),[" we can probably just take out those nonexistent 30-point/15-rebound type performances, no reason to keep them in. Same for in a later paragraph.
• "Howard had terms agreed to with the" change to 'had agreed to terms with the'
  • Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 00:06, 28 August 2010 (UTC)

Other sections

• "His biological father was Leroy Watson, Jr., who wanted to name Howard Leroy III, but his maternal grandmother.." 'to name him', I'm sure you mean.

Misc/refs

• No issue ref-wise. I'll put the article on hold and give you five days to fix everything, then I'll hopefully pass it. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 14:33, 22 August 2010 (UTC)
  • What happened to seven days?--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 14:49, 22 August 2010 (UTC)
    • I've shrunk the on-hold time because of how bad the GAN backlog is; have to speed up what i can. This should only take you 20 minutes or so anyway, no biggie. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 02:59, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
      • I have 5 GA reviews to respond to, a FLC and an FAC to address as well. I will start within 5 days, but doubt I will be done.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 03:22, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
        • Noted, though instead of handling any of those today you wrote and added two more GANs.. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 00:43, 24 August 2010 (UTC)
          • Yes, I am trying to get all the guys at Category:Princeton Tigers men's lacrosse players up at GAC. There is one more I want to do. I have been working on these guys for a couple weeks.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 00:54, 24 August 2010 (UTC)
            • All very lovely Tony, but your priority should be responding the reviewers' concerns instead of writing more articles to wack up to GAN which already had a massive backlog... Aaroncrick ^TALK 11:25, 26 August 2010 (UTC)
              • I apologize, but I am trying to get them all on the main page to expose the new content to fresh eyes. They consist of 11 new articles and 5 expansions. The expansions are proving difficult since currently only 2 of the 5 are 5x and 2 are languishing around 4x. I am going to nominate them all in a few hours at DYK, but want to try to get them all to the level where they are bolded and drawing attention of the readers. I will give this one some time today.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 14:25, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

• Since almost all of my concerns were met and given how many GANs you've got to deal with yet, I decided to be nice and do the last 10% myself. As such I'll pass the article as a GA, nice work. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 04:10, 29 August 2010 (UTC)